Sonata Quasi Una Fantasia
by Jacksgirl217
Summary: Cloud is awash in memory and misery. After loosing his best friend he takes a job body-guarding the powerful and wealthy senator Ansem. Here he meets the senator's son: a lonely and troubled young man, trapped in a world of power, greed and false appearance; both need saving, but in different ways. - Good old fashioned romance AU. Gradual CLC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Aaaaaaaand it's another AU – of course! My multi chapters always seem to get me this way. I've no idea how long this one will be, but knowing my dedication to multi chapters in general, I'm not planning on this being too ambitious. This idea came to me, non-too surprisingly, after watching The Bodyguard. Not being much of a girly girl, and despising most chick flicks, I've managed to avoid seeing this film until recently. But boy, did my muse go into overdrive when I did. (I'm placing the blame squarely and surely on Kevin Costner's lovely shoulders here, as I've been a squiggly puddle of school girl mess for him since I was knee high to a grasshopper!)

Any which way, I've rejigged some basic facts and figures to make this work: Squall's name and age being the most obvious, and I'm hoping that these little facts won't mean I have to post this under the FFVIII crossover section, as it does have some Kingdom Hearts places and peoples in it.

As always, I hope you enjoy and please, don't hesitate to get in touch and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to Square Enix and/or Disney. No infringement intended, no profit made.

Warnings: None much to speak of. Bad language (Of course) some moderate violence and some dodgy English phrasing and spelling. However, this will remain an M for some planned Yaoi in later chapters.

Sonata quasi una Fantasia: Italian for 'Sonata in the manner of a fantasy' (Directly translated "Sonata almost a fantasy.") – The original title for Ludwig van Beethoven's 1801 Piano Sonata No. 14 in C – sharp minor, more commonly known as, Moonlight Sonata.

* * *

_"I'd hate to see the other guy."_

**Sonata Quasi Una Fantasia**

**Chapter One**

The blow was aimed at Cloud's left flank but with a swift up stroke of his arm, the blond hooked his elbow under his opponent's and twisted, snapping the appendage at the joint. With a few short sharp jabs of his own into the others ribs, cracking two of them, he pushed down, bringing the older man to his knees and ended the bout. Blowing a fine spray of sweat from his upper lip, Cloud stepped back and felt the slapping, congratulating hands of the crowd that formed the impromptu, ululating circle around the two fighters. Hands gripped his shoulders in celebration and the deafening ring of the drunken spectators fought to be heard over the blood pounding in his ears and a high pitched humming pierced his skull from where the other man had landed a few well aimed punches; his head would be sore in the morning. Not bothering to wait for the slow and ancient referee to announce his victory, which had been an unsure thing to begin with, Cloud turned and pushed his way through the throng of men and scanned the crowed for one in particular. Spotting Cid smoking the dog end of an old cigar, supported by an empty barrel that served as a crude table, he made his way over and sat down on an empty stool, accepting the towel the older man offered him to wipe the sweat from his body. The sour faced man curled his top lip and spat out the chewed cigar, reaching a hand into his back pocket to fish out a handful of notes. Thrusting them in Cloud's direction with a disgusted look on his face he sucked in a hiss through his yellowing front teeth.

'Ya got lucky.' He commented gruffly as Cloud snatched his winnings. With a harsh curse he spat onto the dirt floor and stood on decrepit, inebriated legs and staggered away to find his next drink.

Cloud didn't bother to stay and watch the next fight begin. He picked his shirt up from where he had dropped it next to his stool, slipping it on over his heated, clammy body, and shoved the wad of cash into the back pocket of his jeans. Draining the last of his whiskey he stood and pushed his way to the basement stairs, making his way up into Seventh Heaven and the busy but more civilised, kind of crowd of his friend's bar.

Though _more civilised_ meant no organised bare knuckle boxing, illegal gambling or bootleg whiskey, Seventh Heaven was far from a respectable place and Cloud found himself breaking up two fights and throwing one drunken asshat out just on his way through the shifting crowd as he fought to get behind the bar and through the service door that led to his own small apartment. But before he could disappear completely for the night, however, Tifa caught his arm. With a sharp look over his shoulder, he let himself relax as the petite brunette woman shouted into his ear above the clamour. 'Xemnas called; needs you at HQ.'

'Did he say what it was about?' Cloud managed to shout back.

'I'm not your secretary, Cloud.' Was Tifa's only response before turning back to the bar and the next customer.

With a frustrated sigh, Cloud tossed the forgotten towel over his shoulder and made his way up the old, creaking stairs to his apartment and let himself in. If he was to return to Radiant Gardens tonight, he'd need a shower and a change of clothes.

* * *

Eight weeks. Eight weeks, three days, fourteen hours and twenty six minutes. When Cloud counted it out like that, it seemed like a long, torturous, tedious, fucking miserable length of time. He looked at the digital clock on the dash of his car: twenty _seven_ minutes and fifteen seconds. He didn't know why he had kept count. He'd figured maybe it was the job; maybe it was the endless, empty, mind numbing hours that now filled his life. Maybe it wasn't. Either way, Cloud knew he had to find himself another way to pass the time; counting it was doing his fucking head in.

Pulling up to the gates he flashed his security card over the sensor and rolled his window up. As the large wooden panels rolled back to reveal Radiant Gardens, ground lit by flood lights against the inky blackness of night, Cloud toed the gas pedal and drove up the short driveway to the back of the mansion. With one last check of the time he huffed an exasperated sigh and got out of the car.

Xemnas was waiting for him as the service elevator doors slid open and Cloud stepped out with his tie only just slung around his neck, the top two buttons of his white shirt still open and his suit jacket slung over the crook of his arm. Cloud hesitantly blew out the lung full of smoke he had just inhaled and tried none too discreetly to dispose of the lit cigarette behind him before his superior coughed once, raised an eyebrow and slowly looked him up and down.

A brief summary of his newest employee completed, Xemnas' raised eyebrow turned into a frown. 'No smoking in the building, Strife.' He drawled before his serious gaze settled on the younger man's face. 'Is that a bruise?' he asked almost board.

Cloud reached up, cigarette still balanced between his fingers, and probed at the contusion forming around his left eye. 'A souvenir,' he replied. 'You should have seen the other guy.'

Unamused, Xemnas turned on his heel. 'Follow me,' he ordered. 'And put that fucking cigarette out.' With one last drag, Cloud threw it away and ground it out.

Shrugging into his jacket and fixing his collar as they entered the security hub of the mansion, Cloud followed Xemnas through the rows of computer monitors and security CCTV screens to his own small desk, which he had only vacated less than five hours ago. He _had_ been looking forward to his weekend off, but well, it looked like that idea was fast disappearing down the shitter. Xemnas turned to him, causing Cloud to pull up sharply, and slapped down an envelope onto Cloud's untidy desk.

'New assignment.' He cut out simply, folding his hands behind his back. He waited for Cloud to straighten his tie, pulling the knot up close to his adams apple and noted that the blond's top button was still undone, but nevertheless decided to let it slide. 'You'll be required to be on site for the foreseeable, senator Ansem was quite explicit.'

Cloud picked up the envelope and flipped through it, his curiosity piqued and then smashed to tiny smithereens once he caught sight of his main objective. 'I'm babysitting?' it was almost a whine.

'You're a bodyguard, are you not?' Xemnas asked without missing a beat.

'Security persone-'

'And so you are required to guard the senator's son's body. I suggest you get to it.' Xemnas interrupted Cloud's rather pedantic distinction with raised eyebrows before turning sharply once again and left without another word.

Cursing his luck, Cloud sat himself in his seat and flipped open his brief. Scanning the important information – like why the hell he had been called back in on his time off to babysit the senator's son – he noted that there had been a terror threat in the last four hours, raising the security status of the whole compound. Annoyed that he hadn't been given the slightly more exciting detail of guarding the _actual_ senator, Cloud slammed the folder shut and ran his hands through his hair, wincing as he caught the spot that had been smashed into the floor of Tifa's basement not two hours ago.

Reckless, Zack had called him. The memory caused a caustic sting in the back of his head and suddenly his chest felt too heavy. He shook the feeling aside and flipped open his phone, thumbing through the contacts until he came to Reno's.

'Yo.' Came a laid back reply after a few rings.

'Reno, its Cloud. Listen, I'm back on duty.'

'Yeah, Xemnas called everyone in. We're on code five, or some shit; Organisation Thirteen been playing their usual tricks or something like that, again.' Cloud could tell the redhead was on the move, the sound of passing cars slipping by in the distance.

'I need a spot on the kid, you know where he is?' Cloud's eyes scanned the back wall, panel after panel of security cameras showing near enough every angle of the house brought no sign of the elusive teen.

'Yeah, we're bringing him back from Twilight Town now. ETA fifteen minutes.'

Cloud looked at his watch. That gave him just enough time to sort his room out before he took the handover. 'Okay, see you in fifteen.'

Flipping his phone shut, he pulled out a small duffle bag from under his desk and checked through his emergency supply for clean clothes. With everything in order he made his way back down the corridor and up the elevator to the ground floor service rooms, where, according to his brief, he'd be spending the next few weeks.

* * *

After more like something close to thirty minutes, Cloud made his way back up the elevator and waited for the doors to slide open onto the lavishly decorated corridors that would take him into the mansion proper. Before he'd even stepped out into the grand entrance, a soft pattering of musical notes drifted through from the library, filling the hall with a quiet, melodious sound. Stood at the entrance to the room, hidden behind the large sweeping staircase, were Reno and his partner Rude. They stood at post like two opposite bookends, the redhead lent up against the doorframe with his shirt untucked and Rude with his arms folded neatly across his immaculate chest.

'Yo, Strife.' Reno greeted him as he approached. Nodding his head to both in return he craned his neck into the library.

'He in there?' Cloud asked, knowing from the gentle plinking of piano keys that he was correct.

'Yup. He's all yours.' Reno replied, standing up straight now and placing a mocking hand on Cloud's shoulder. 'Have fun.'

The blond shot Reno a withering look over his shoulder as he left and waited until they were out of sight before heaving one last consolatory sigh and stepped into the room.

The beautiful music grew louder as he entered; filling the lofty, wood panelled archive with the sad notes of some classical piece that Cloud had never heard of before. The sound resonated in the mostly empty space, making the room feel larger and more bereft than it usually did. Before him, sat at the grand piano in the corner was a teenage boy. His back to Cloud, the bodyguard could only see the way his hands moved along the milky keys, barely alighting on each one before skimming across to another. The young man's back was straight and broad, his shoulders square as he swayed only slightly back and forth as he extended his reach up the piano. Dark brown, almost coffee rich hair cut across the young man's face in messy bangs that swayed as he watched his hands work the notes and chords, utterly lost in the music and completely oblivious to the fact that Cloud was behind him, watching him.

As the music stopped and the vast room fell silent, Cloud's presence must have become obvious. The boy turned, glancing over his shoulder to acknowledge his audience before immediately turning back, his shoulders hunching slightly.

'Am I needed somewhere?' a rich deep voice asked. It struck Cloud then that he'd only just realised he'd never actually heard Ansem's adopted son speak. For the briefest of moments, he thought that fact odd, before he swept it away.

'No, I've been assigned to you, for the time being at least; your father's orders.' Cloud replied, wondering if this kid found their shared situation just as onerous as he did. In the eight weeks and however many days, minutes and seconds it was now that he'd been working for the senator, he'd had only very limited interaction with his one and only son. Brief glimpses here and there, general information drifting through co-workers and house staff had filled in some of the blanks and as for the rest of it, Cloud had merely presumed to know. He'd figured that he couldn't have been far wrong in his speculations; how many rich kids did you have to know before you'd met them all? Cloud was under no illusions that his opinions were going to be proven wrong any time soon.

'Has something happened then?' that rich, low voice cut through Cloud's thoughts again. He watched as those long, slender fingers reached up and pulled down the piano lid that covered the immaculate keys, the tips of those fingers caressing the wood ever so slightly before his hands returned to his lap again and he sat, back bowed and shoulders slouched as if he'd been reprimanded.

'Just a precaution.' Cloud replied as diplomatically as he could. He watched the boy nod his head as if confirming something to himself, and then he looked up, catching the boy's reflection and realised that he was being watched in the mirror-like quality of the window. Bright blue/grey eyes were studying him with keen interest, secreted away under choppy bangs as if the young man didn't want him to know he was being calculated. Upon being discovered, the young man cut his eyes away and after an awkward few seconds of indecision, he stood; finally turning to allow Cloud a decent look at him and instantly, the older man felt his mouth go uncomfortably dry. With a deliberate cough that punctuated the uneasy silence, Cloud shook himself.

'I'm tired.' The boy announced all of a sudden, his face almost apologetic. 'I think I'll go to bed.' He started to make his way across the hall, his expensive tailored shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. He stopped a few paces from Cloud, his face once again impassive and serious. 'It was good to finally meet you…' he trailed off at a loss for a name.

'Cloud.' The blond man offered, extending his hand self-consciously as the boy did.

'Cloud.' The young man rolled the name off his tongue, testing it out for the first time and Cloud found himself having to cough again. 'You too, Mr Leonhart.' He replied, trying his very best to remain as professional as he knew how.

'Just Squall.' The boy replied, a slight frown creasing his eyebrows.

'Squall.' Cloud corrected, the unfamiliar name feeling pleasant in his mouth.

'What happened to your eye?' the boy enquired, his gaze softening and his features relaxing into gentle concern. Letting go of Squall's hand that Cloud hadn't realised he was still holding, he reached up to poke cautiously at his bruised face. He winced and tried his best to look contrite.

'A difference of opinion.' He replied, a small wry smile on his lips.

'I'd hate to see the other guy.' Squall commented dryly, a spark of humour in his eyes. Quite unintentionally, and in the shifting of a few fleeting moments, Cloud found himself liking him almost instantly.

With a soft nod goodnight, the boy left, and Cloud was free to return to his own room.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Second chapter up! Hopefully, after reviewing my editing techniques, the pacing of this chapter should feel a little better; not so rushed.

Thank you to all who reviewed the first chapter, I honestly didn't expect to get such a response so quickly. I'm thoroughly relieved to see that this fandom isn't quite dead just yet! (hugs all you wonderful diehard Cleon fans!)

As always, enjoy. Xxx

Veronique: Hello my dear! Yes, indeed I'm very well, thank you. I hope you are too. I'm pleased I've managed to reel you in already. I hope you enjoy this update. Much love. Xxx

* * *

"_Yeah, but if it's any consolation, I was rooting for you the whole time."_

**Chapter Two**

Cloud knew he was dreaming. All the same, the visions that assaulted him in his sleeping paralysis were visceral and real enough to make him flinch. Like the roar of a high speed plane, the sound of bullets cracked and exploded over his head even after they had already passed, leaving in their wake, a thousand tiny sonic booms that resonated outwards like a ripple and then downwards, pushing on top of him like a dead weight, only for him to realised moments later that it _was_ a dead weight. And then a cold, crippling fear would steal over him, locking his arms and legs, immobilising his chest so that even breathing was difficult.

Through cold sweats and a shivering fear, Cloud started awake, a name dying on his lips as he gripped the bed sheets, knuckles white and chest heaving with poisonous breath, too exhausted to even articulate the ghosts that plagued him. It had been his fault. His entire fault… Zack.

Out of the three hundred men that had made up his squadron that day, less than thirty had returned, Cloud among them; limping home, wounded and afraid. The fresh scar on his leg, right above his knee ached terribly and Cloud swung his legs down over the edge of the bed, wincing as he stretched the muscle to work the deep seated pain that would never fully heal.

With only six months between himself now, as he was, sat in the half darkness of pre-dawn and that terrifying day, it was only the barest of scar tissues that covered the wounds both inside and out. With shaking hands he reached for the half empty bottle on his nightstand and unscrewed it. Taking a long drink, he refused to let the shadow in. He'd fight it with whatever he had, for as long as he could.

Sometimes the only feeling that Cloud had left was that of a ticking clock: taking away the seconds and hours, counting down until… what? Until there was no more time left; until he ran out of strength, or will, or liquor?

Cloud finished the bottle, knowing full well that it wasn't nearly enough to start the day right, but he was late already. Standing on broken legs, he wobbled precariously out of his room and squinted down the corridor looking for the door leading to the bathroom.

Quickly splashing his face with cold water, uncaring about the soft stubble or the haggard expression that stared back from the mirror above the sink, he ran shaking hands down his rumpled white shirt that he'd accidentally fallen asleep in. He attempted to tuck it in, hoping he could pass for half decent and made his way out into the expanse of the mansion, heading for the kitchen and the promise of coffee.

As he hobbled in, not really expecting to find anyone in there at six o'clock in the morning, he was surprised and startled to find a teenage boy with familiar chocolate hair sat at the large breakfast table, a small plate of toast and glass of water in front of him.

Keeping to the alcoves around the side of the L shaped kitchen he fumbled about with the coffee machine, relieved to understand that he hadn't been seen yet and that the kid was engrossed in a book which was laid out beside his small breakfast.

Bringing the coffee cup to his dry, cracked lips, Cloud almost dropped the mug when startled by a new voice entering the kitchen.

'No reading at the table, Squall.'

The sound of a hardback cover hitting the floor accompanied the voice and then the screech of wooden legs scraping across expensive tiles as a chair was hurriedly shoved back.

'I'm sorry, I was just…' a smaller, quieter voice began, only to be cut off as the new voice broke over the top of it, flattening everything else in the room.

'What have I told you about reading _stories_?' The man said the word like it tasted disgusting. 'How you can possibly have time for them when you have so much work to do is beyond me. Perhaps you've _too much_ free time in your schedule?' The tone of the man's voice, undoubtedly the senator's, left a sneaking suspicion in Cloud's mind that exactly the opposite was true. He tucked himself away into the corner of the large kitchen and continued to listen.

'If that is the case, maybe we should review your timetable and arrange another tutor? Maybe for after your languages teacher has left?' Cloud heard the tell tail sound of the book being dropped onto the table.

'That's my free time.' Squall's rather annoyed and indignant voice replied.

'If you want free time, you have to earn it.' The senator snapped back, effectively smothering any argument that the kid might have put up. Cloud frowned. Even for him, who was as indifferent as they came when it concerned rich people's problems, thought that the senator's attitude had been unnecessarily harsh.

'You know, a little bit of gratitude wouldn't go amiss, Squall.' Cloud almost snorted into his coffee. 'You have no right to feel so hard done by. I've given you everything a child could possibly need and all I get from you is this sulky, despondent attitude.' There was a slight pause before Squall replied in a low, almost reluctant voice.

'I'm sorry. I promise I'll try and do better.'

For some reason, the kid's answer made Cloud feel indignant. It stoked in him some kind of fresh fury that had nothing to do with himself for a change; his stale anger at his own situation was temporarily forgotten over this boy's unfair treatment.

'That's all I ask, Squall, yet you constantly seem to disappoint me.'

'I'm sorry.'

There was a tense moment of silence that seemed to last for an age, confusing Cloud as to what was happening, but eventually the senator spoke again.

'I'm confiscating this. Do not expect to get it back.' And with that, Cloud heard the senator leave the room. Waiting a few seconds to make sure the man had truly left, Cloud loosened his death grip on his coffee mug and smoothed his features out. He walked around the cabinets and the sight of the table and the young man came into view.

The kid looked up, immediately smothering his dejected expression and straightened his posture. Cloud pulled out the chair next to Squall, sitting himself down heavily, pleased to be off his aching knee for a moment. He straightened his legs out in front of him and leaned back casually in the seat, placing the coffee mug on the table before looking over at the young man beside him at the head of the table, his fingers toying nervously with the edge of the napkin beside his plate.

'So,' Cloud broke the tense silence, 'you're dad's kind of a dick, huh?'

Squall's frown only deepened, his head lowering just a fraction more and Cloud swore he saw the slightest colouring come to the boy's cheeks. 'You heard that?' Squall asked in that low monotone. Cloud inwardly winced; a soft tug pulled in his chest as he felt for the boy's outward humiliation and all at once he felt bad for bringing it up.

'Yeah, but if it's any consolation, I was rooting for you the whole time.'

Squall lifted his gaze briefly, chancing a glance over at his breakfast companion and raised an eyebrow before his eyes flicked away again to stare at his half empty plate. 'You look like crap.' He deadpanned.

Cloud looked down at himself, at the rumpled shirt and slacks and his bare feet crossed at the ankle and had to concede defeat. 'Not much of a morning person.' He confessed, scratching self-consciously at his morning stubble. 'Not like you, you look like you've been up for hours.' Cloud commented, noting the boy's impeccable uniform.

'I have.' Squall responded, taking a sip of his water. Catching a glimpse of Cloud's wrinkled brow he explained, 'I swim for an hour before school; it's on my schedule.'

Sparing a moment to feel incredulous at Squall's seemingly merciless timetable, it reminded him of why he was currently up at such a godless hour instead of sleeping off a hangover of doubtless epic proportions which he would have acquired had he been off this weekend. 'That reminds me, I'm gonna need a copy of that at some point.' Raking a hand through his hair he lent forwards and placed his elbows on the table, feeling heavy and worn out already. He briefly considered raiding the enormous kitchen for an alcohol supply.

'Here.' Squall slid a folded piece of paper across to him, before sitting back in his chair and continued to pick at the corner of his cold toast.

Surprised at such efficiency so early in the morning, Cloud had to remind himself exactly who he was dealing with here and upon a quick re-evaluation of the situation found that he shouldn't have been so surprised. This kid was so organised, he probably had his underwear colour coded: one for every day of the week. Unfolding the piece of paper, Cloud scanned it quickly, his mind boggling at how much was on there and his sympathies were once again well and truly with the kid as he saw his day started at five am, every day, without fail.

'Holy shit snacks,' he exclaimed, eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. 'They like to keep you busy, huh?' Scanning the schedule for this elusive 'free time', Cloud found it, right at the end of the boy's day; after nearly three hours of extra lessons, pencilled in at half past seven in the evening, was an hour and a half worth of down time before a very strict, very definite bedtime.

'You'll probably want to put that on your PDA,' Squall replied. 'Though, it will be changing in a week.'

'Changing, why?' Cloud asked, folding it up and slipping it into his pocket.

'I finish school. I have exams this week and then after that it's the holidays. Senator Ansem has a whole new schedule drawn up for holidays.'

'You finish high school this week?' Cloud asked.

'It's an academy.' Squall corrected, rather self-consciously.

'Whatever, so like, how old does that make you?'

'I'll be eighteen in August.'

Cloud had to admit, he hadn't given much thought to exactly how old Squall was. He'd known he was in school and that was pretty much all he'd needed to know, but thinking about it now, he'd probably placed the kid's age much lower than was fair. He hadn't realised he was only eight weeks off turning eighteen.

'Exciting times for you then, huh?' Cloud replied, thinking back to his own experience of leaving school and his excitement at joining SOLDIER.

'Yeah, sure.' Squall replied, no trace of enthusiasm anywhere. Cloud might have put it down to that moody, despondent attitude that the senator had mentioned before, but for some reason he didn't think that was it. Squall didn't strike him as the pouty teenager type. In all honesty, now that he'd spent even just a small amount of time in the young man's company, he thought the kid more mature than some of his own friends. The last thing Cloud would have called Squall was petulant, yet the kid remained down cast at the prospect of the summer that lay ahead. He was about to enquire further when Squall spoke again.

'Well, I have a cello lesson now. It finishes at half seven so if you want you can go and get cleaned up and meet me back here in an hour. School starts at eight.'

'Huh?' Cloud asked rather incredulously.

'It's on the schedule.' Squall nodded his head towards the piece of paper in Cloud's pocket and stood up, picking up his half eaten breakfast and heading over to the sink. 'You might wanna use the time to get cleaned up. If the senator catches you like that,' he stopped, turning to evaluate Cloud with a raised eyebrow. 'Scratch that, if _anyone_ catches you looking like that, you'll be in big trouble.'

Cloud inwardly scoffed at the idea of being reprimanded over his appearance like a child, but for some reason, from this kid, it was kind of endearing.

'Yeah, you're right; wouldn't want to get grounded.' He teased. The look that passed over Squall's handsome features told Cloud that his joke hadn't been appreciated.

'Whatever,' the young man replied flippantly. 'Do what you want, I don't care.' With an annoyed flick of his hand, he dismissed the conversation and left the kitchen, leaving Cloud to wonder what it was he'd said wrong.

* * *

The car ride to Hollow Bastion Academy was silent and tense. Numerous times, Cloud's eyes flicked from the road in front of him to the rear view mirror and the image of the boy sat quietly in the back, eyes gazing out at the passing traffic. Cloud didn't know whether he was imagining it or not, but the look in the young man's eyes seemed to convey a sadness that bordered on longing; as if he were watching the world pass him by from behind iron bars. Shaking the ridiculous notion out of his head, he pulled up to the gates and drove down the long and impressive driveway towards the dark red brick building. Coming to a stop he put the car in park and watched as Squall gave an almost imperceptible sigh, his shoulders rising ever so slightly before dropping in a resigned manner.

'School finishes at four.' Squall informed him, looking away from the window and catching Cloud's stare in the mirror; Cloud held it and nodded.

'I'll be here.'

Without another word, Squall climbed out of the car and disappeared into the building, his posture stiff and formal.

#

Four o'clock rolled around a lot faster than Cloud anticipated. With a small jump, he straightened himself in the driver's seat as Squall opened the back door and climbed in. 'Have you been waiting here all day?' he asked.

'I told you, I've been assigned to you. That means I go where you go.' Cloud replied. Squall shrugged and lent back into the seat, pulling his seatbelt across his lap and clipped it in place.

'All the same, kinda boring for you.' Squall took up his position staring out of the window, only this time his expression seemed tired.

_Pfft, tell me about it, _Cloud thought, lamenting his numb butt. 'Oh don't worry, I've kept myself busy. A few laps of the perimeter, not to mention I transferred your schedule on to my PDA. Now _that_ took up most of the day!' Cloud replied, flashing a small smile and his electronic organisation device over his shoulder. Squall remained unaffected; that tired almost bored expression still on his face. _Tough crowd!_ Cloud thought turning back to the wheel and started up the engine. After a few minutes they were out of the school grounds and heading back to Radiant Gardens.

The rush hour traffic slowed them to a halt as they crawled their way through the centre of the city and once again, Cloud found his attention being drawn to his passenger sat in the back of the car. Squall had closed his eyes and rested his head back, the motion of the car making it sway gently as it looked like the kid was falling asleep. Cloud didn't blame him. He figured he'd take any opportunity to catch a few Z's if his life was as busy as Squall's.

The sight of the worn out young man and the memory of his awkward and humiliating exchange with his father that morning caused that dull tug in Cloud's chest again. He wasn't accustomed to feeling empathy for other people. As a rule, he'd conditioned himself to be as unfeeling as he possibly could; his only exceptions being his close friends, and even then it had to be particularly exceptional circumstances. Most of them had been able to fight their own battles for a long time now. He was unused to and inexperience with teenagers and he certainly hadn't expected the appearance of one in his life to make him feel so… concerned?

A sudden idea sprang to mind and with a new found feeling of determination he pulled out of the long line of unmoving traffic and slipped into the inside lane and turned left, taking them down town. After a few minutes of thinking that he'd gotten away with his plan, Squall's voice piped up from the back of the car.

'Where are we going? This isn't the way home.'

With a shallow sigh and a small smile, Cloud replied. 'No files on you, is there?' At Squall's confused and slightly annoyed expression, Cloud elaborated. 'I figured you could use a break; we're going for something to eat. I dunno bout you, but I'm starving.'

'But I have to get back; I have language lessons after school.' Squall replied, a note of concern and annoyance entering his tone.

'So we'll say we got stuck in traffic. Come on, Squall, you really _want_ to rush home and get stuck into more school work?'

'No… I mean, yeah… Look, it doesn't matter what I _want_ to do, I have to get back. I'm not allowed to deviate from the schedule.'

Cloud wondered for a moment if Squall had _ever_ done anything that wasn't on the fucking schedule and then immediately felt bad. 'So live a little. Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?' He asked, checking Squall's reaction in the mirror. What he found confused and worried him in equal measure. Somehow, Squall's face seemed to darken and pale at the same time. When he received no answer, Cloud found a slight chill run down his back. He shrugged it off, determined that he would treat this kid to some fun, even if it was just a burger after school.

'Listen, don't worry about it. If anyone say's anything, I'll say it was my fault: we got stuck in traffic: I had an errand to run, something like that, okay?'

Squall remained quiet but relaxed back into his seat, his troubled gaze turned back out of the window and Cloud couldn't help but notice the way his hands were still balled up on his knees, his knuckles white with tension. Knowing something didn't feel right, but unable to put his finger on exactly why, Cloud shrugged the uneasy feeling away and pulled up outside Seventh Heaven. Climbing out onto the sidewalk, he watched as Squall did the same, his veiled expression turning worried.

'You brought me to a bar?' He asked sceptically, shutting the car door behind him.

'It does food too.' Cloud answered by way of an explanation.

'I don't think I'll be allowed in there.'

'Sure you will; you're with me.' Pointedly ignoring the young man's attempts to sabotage the whole idea, he headed into the bar on a stiff and aching leg, trying to hide his limp as he held the door open for Squall to follow him through.

The bar was dead, and Cloud considered it a good thing. It made his job a whole lot easier when there was no crowd to scan and all the exits could be easily observed. Pointing to a booth in the corner, he indicated Squall should sit down before walking over to the bar and shouting up the stairs.

'Tifa!' a long moment of nothing followed before a woman appeared from behind the bar carrying a crate up from the cellar. 'I'm over here, Cloud.' She replied, making Cloud jump and turn.

Shit, woman, you scared me. I thought you were upstairs.' Cloud exclaimed, a hand placed over his chest as if to calm a pounding heart.

'Pfft, some bodyguard you are.' Tifa retorted, placing the heavy crate on the bar. 'What do you want, I'm busy?' she asked, pulling bottles out of the box and stacking them in the fridges behind her.

Cloud looked around himself at the empty bar with a raised eyebrow. 'If it's not too much trouble, I just want a couple of burgers for me and the kid.'

Tifa stopped her restocking and glanced over Cloud's shoulder to the young man sat awkwardly in the far corner. She looked back at Cloud with a, _you know you're not supposed to bring minors in here,_ look on her face before continuing her task of filling the fridges. 'Not like you to bring your work home with you.' She commented, pulling a note pad from the shelf and wrote the order down. She stuck it on a spindle in a small hatch and rang a bell shouting a quick 'Order up.' Before dusting her hands off and removing the empty crate from the bar top.

'Yeah well, this one's kind of a special assignment. Plus I need to pick up a few things; gonna be spending a few weeks over at HQ.' Cloud explained, helping himself to one of the beer bottles Tifa had left on the side. Tifa glanced over Cloud's shoulder again, circling a glass round and around in her hands as she dried it with a towel.

'He's cute.' She observed with a quick flick of her eyes to test Cloud's reaction; Cloud stared back, unimpressed.

'He's seventeen.' He informed her.

'That's never stopped you before.' Tifa noted, a slight lift to her brow and an amused smile on her lips. Cloud had to give her that one, though at the time he had been closer to seventeen himself; the six year age gap between himself and Squall at present was much larger.

'This is different.' He retorted somewhat churlishly, hating that his best friend often had the upper hand on him and his rather fluid morals.

'Sure,' Tifa replied sceptically. 'Sit down and I'll bring your order over.'

Collecting his beer and a soft drink for the kid, Cloud made his way over to the booth and sat down heavily, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, pointedly ignoring the disgusted look from his dinner companion.

'Are you really supposed to be drinking while you're working?' Squall asked him as Cloud downed half of the bottle in one long swallow.

'Probably not.' Cloud confessed, completely unaffected by the implications of what he was doing, and who he was doing it in front of. He sat for a few moments, leisurely peeling the label from the bottle and far too aware that Squall hadn't taken his eyes off him. He could feel the weight of the stare press in on him from all sides and he had to try very hard not to let the rising flush creep up his neck.

'Are you _trying_ to lose your job?' The young man eventually asked him. Cloud snorted a soft laugh.

'I don't much give a flying fuck either way, kid.' He replied as nonchalant as he could, completely aware that he probably wasn't fooling anybody. It wasn't that he _wanted_ to lose his job, but well, it was hard to care about _anything_ anymore. None of it seemed important; none of it seemed to matter in the end. He could lose this job, but he'd find another. He looked up to see Squall staring at him, his face unimpressed but with a soft edge of concern, like he was wondering something.

'When did she leave you?' The boy asked out of the blue making Cloud's heart stop and then jump start, all at the same time. He scowled to try and hide his surprise.

'Who said anything about anyone leaving me?' Cloud answered, almost a little bit too quickly.

'Because nobody can be this pathetic for no good reason. I think she left you.' Squall retorted, folding his arms and leaning back in his seat.

For the space of a full minute, Cloud sat watching the boy in front of him. To anyone else it might have seemed that Squall sat there with a sense of smug self-satisfaction. His posture was certainly haughty enough, and his eyes flickered with a challenge, but for some reason, Cloud refused to take it that way. He was right in a way. He had lost someone. What were semantics when loss was loss?

'You're wrong on both counts, kid.' Cloud finally broke the silence, 'But nice try. Why don't we talk about you for a second anyway; what's your story?' Squall rolled his eyes at Cloud's pathetic attempts at diverting the conversation, but he humoured him anyway.

'My story is a matter of public record.' This time, he was almost definitely, without a doubt being as flippant as he could. 'If you'd done your homework you could have researched any archive in any public library and found out anything you like about me.'

'I like to get my information from the source.' Cloud replied, maybe a little too firmly. He took a swig of his beer and reminded himself to relax his jaw. 'So start talking.'

'There's not much to tell.' Squall shrugged, wiping at the condensation on his glass. 'I was born in Winhill, brought up in Dollet until I was five and then I was adopted by the senator. I've been living here in Hollow Bastion ever since.'

'Any idea who your real parents are?' Cloud asked, wanting to at least try and hit as close to home as Squall had attempted to hit with him. He was rewarded with a weary stare and a sharp look that flashed through Squall's grey eyes.

'No.'

'Ever wanted to find out?' Cloud pushed, knowing he'd found a weak spot. He watched as Squall's icy glare cut away to the table, his knuckles clenching ever so slightly.

'There wouldn't be much point. I was told my mother died giving birth to me and my father was missing in action over eighteen years ago. Either way, it doesn't matter. They're both gone now.' This last part was uttered quietly, delicate eyebrows coming up to crease in the middle of a stoic face above hard eyes that glittered with ice.

Like most of his impulsions, this one left Cloud feeling dickish. He hadn't wanted to cause the boy any real pain, he'd just wanted to ruffle a few feathers and let him know that he could be read just as easily as Squall could read him. Changing the subject quickly, he breathed in one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out.

'So what's with the scar, anyway? There's gotta be an interesting story behind that!' Cloud commented, indicating the long diagonal scar sliced in between the brunet's eyes and over the ridge of his nose.

'Not really, it happened when I was six or seven. It was an accident with one of the house staff. I was in the kitchen getting under her feet. She tripped and cut my face.' Squall replied with a shrug, a soft pink bottom lip disappearing into his mouth to be worried between his teeth. For no discernable reason whatsoever, Cloud didn't believe a word of the story, however, as he was about to probe further, Tifa arrived at their table with their food and set it down.

'You actually gonna pay this time or am I putting it on your "tab"' she raised her hands, sweeping quotation marks into the air as she looked down, unimpressed at her friend.

'What do you think?' Cloud replied, face serious though his eyes belied him.

With a roll of her eyes she sauntered away, leaving the two young men to eat in heavy silence.

* * *

Attempting to sneak into Radiant Gardens was always going to be a bad idea. Considering the security cameras and sensors, not to mention the small army of security personnel actually situated in the grounds of the giant mansion, it would have been difficult for a fly to sneak a fart without someone picking up on it. Consequently, Cloud and Squall had no hope.

Only moments after entering the large kitchen both turned upon hearing the sharp clicking of stiletto pointed shoes on the tiles.

'Squall, is that you?' A woman called, rounding the cabinets and clocking sight of both of them. 'Squall, where have you been? You're late by over an hour! Your father is furious.'

Squall was about to open his mouth a reply before the blond haired man beside him piped up, subtly stepping in front of him as he diverted the frantic woman's attention.

'I'm really sorry, that was my fault. I had to swing by my place and pick up a few things. Got stuck in traffic on the way back.' He explained holding out his hands in supplication.

'That's not going to make a bit of difference to the senator. It's your job to make sure he's on time, for _everything_,' she emphasised the word, looking pointedly at him over her round spectacles. She looked past him, catching Squall's weary eye over the blond's shoulder. 'You'll have to make up the time. You know he won't let you cut anything.'

'I know, I'm sorry, Quistis.' Squall offered, stepping out from around Cloud, keeping the man in the corner of his peripheral vision. Before he could say anything else they all turned at the sound of the senator's voice entering the kitchen from behind them.

'So this is where I find you!' Ansem spoke dryly, clearly unamused. He stopped in front of Squall and held his serious, weighty gaze for a few uncomfortable seconds. 'You're late, Squall.'

'I know, I'm sor-'

'It was my fault, senator. I had to pick up a few things on our way back and we got stuck in traffic.' Cloud interrupted, not wanting to hear Squall apologise once again for something that wasn't his fault. Senator Ansem's unflinching stare swept from Squall to Cloud, hovering and assessing for a moment before moving his displeasure back to his adopted son.

'You are late, Squall,' he repeated, placing his hands onto his hips. 'You are now an hour and fifteen minutes behind in your schedule. I expect you to make it up. You will work through your free time this evening.' He announced, flicking his wrist out to check his watch.

'But…' Squall started, unsure if he should go on from the glare his father was giving him. 'But I was planning on going to the kennels after languages. I haven't been down there in nearly a month. Griev-'

'You should have thought of that before you decided to neglect your studies.' Ansem barked, effectively silencing Squall.

'Please, sir, it really was my fault.' Cloud interjected feeling even worse for his insistence that Squall break some of his ever stifling rules. He was ignored however, as Ansem turned to the woman stood behind them all.

'Miss Trepe, please escort Squall to his study, he has a lot of catching up to do.'

Squall turned dejectedly, ignoring the heated stare of his father and the guilty apologetic look on Cloud's face as he followed his tutor out of the kitchen.

'And in future, Mr Strife,' Ansem began seconds after the kid had left. 'If you wish to take my son _anywhere_, you will inform HQ before doing so. We are on high alert at the moment, as you well know and your actions today put Squall in undue risk. For the sake of you job, at the very least, follow protocol. I don't expect to have to talk to you about this again, do I make myself clear?'

With tense shoulders and balled up fists, cheeks flaming with humiliation and rage over being reprimanded like a school boy, Cloud nodded stiffly.

'Yes sir.'

With a low and dangerous 'Good,' Ansem turned and left the kitchen and disappeared back into the gilded corridors of the mansion.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hello again. Chapter three up! I'm posting these early chapters quite close together mainly because I already have them written (it's most definitely not to do with my impatience and wanting to get to the lovely Cloud/Squall hotness!) so we should see chapter four up quite quickly too. Hopefully by the weekend!

If you want to listen to the song Squall writes for Cloud, the link is below; just take the spaces out and paste it in your URL. I don't think I have to clarify that it's not actually written by Squall, it's called Oltremare and is written and performed by Ludovico Einaudi – an Italian composer. All credit must go to him, obviously!

www . youtube watch ?v = 6R3fYEFCZz8

Enjoy. Xxx

* * *

"…_It's my job to know everything about you."_

**Chapter Three**

Cloud couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something different about Squall today. As they drove the freeway – Hollow Bastion growing smaller and smaller behind them – the young man seemed to unravel. His posture loosened and relaxed, and the perpetual frown that shadowed his features was gone; smoothed out to reveal a handsome and refined face. Cloud glanced down to noticed the young man's hands, which were always balled in to fists, were laid out on top of his thighs, fingers tapping to the rhythm of the music that drifted through the car. He looked almost… happy? Contented? He sat in the seat next to the blond man, idly watching the passing scenery and reaching back every now and again to scratch at Griever's nose as she poked her giant head through the gap between their seats. The huge half husky half malamute beast sat contented on the back seat, toing and froing between looking out of the left window and then the right.

'So, you do this every year?' Cloud asked, unable to take his eyes off of the young man's fingers for some reason. He flashed a quick glance at the road, aware that he probably wasn't giving it as much attention as he probably should.

'Mmhhm,' Squall replied lazily. 'Every year since I was six. The senator used to bring me out here back then, but he stopped coming when I was ten. Now it's just me.'

For some reason, Cloud didn't think Squall was particularly sad about that fact. The last week had been fairly uneventful; Squall's schedule and his exams had kept him busy for the most part, but now he had finished. His school days were behind him and as they travelled towards the seaside town of Balamb and a small private beach house at Fisherman's Horizon, Cloud had noticed a subtle yet palpable difference in the young man. He didn't know whether it was just him, or if Squall was actually changing, but Cloud decided it didn't much matter – this kid was growing on him more and more. His company was easy and refreshing and although serious most of the time, Cloud had found that Squall had a quick and witty humour.

'Doesn't it ever get lonely up there, all by yourself?' Cloud wondered, tracing the outline of Squall's profile with his gaze. The teenager let out a soft snort.

'Not really. There's a whole bunch of people up there: house staff and a load of you guys.'

Even though that hadn't really been what Cloud had meant, he let the comment pass. He'd considered the holiday a bad idea from the beginning, but apparently a forty five minute argument with Xemnas about making the kid an easy target, possible security risks and a level five terror alert weren't enough reasons to postpone Squall's annual vacation by the sea. And so with military precision they had organised enough men to guard a prince and sent them on ahead to prepare the beach house.

'What about you, where did you used to go on vacation when you were a kid?' Squall asked out of the blue, turning his head to watch his bodyguard through choppy bangs.

'Growing up it was just me and my mom. We didn't really have a lot of money so we never went away.' Cloud explained, wondering whether the young man beside him could even comprehend what it was like to grow up as poor as Cloud had. In all honesty, Cloud couldn't remember _ever_ taking a holiday.

'What happened to your dad?' Squall asked pushing Griever's snout back through the gap in their chairs. The dog blew out an indignant huff at being excluded from the conversation and turned back to watching the cars pass her window.

'Don't know. Never knew my dad and mom never talked about him. Don't suppose I'll ever find out now.'

'Why not?'

'My mom passed away the year I joined SOLDIER.' Cloud felt the familiar knot crawl up and tighten in his throat.

'Oh, I'm sorry.' Squall replied sincerely, making that uncomfortable knot tighter. Cloud swallowed hard and bit back a grimace. 'How old were you when you joined SOLDIER?' The brunet asked, changing the subject.

Cloud inwardly sighed. He knew the kid meant well, but this wasn't something that he wanted to get into, ever, and certainly not with Squall.

'Being kinda nosey today, aren't we?' Cloud asked a little too tersely.

'Why not? You get to know everything about me and I hardly know anything about you.' Squall was unfazed, his eyes bright and face completely open as Cloud flicked him a side long glance.

'Because it's my job to know everything about you.' He finally answered, placing his eyes back on the road and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. He missed the almost dejected look that passed across Squall's face, but all the same he could feel the atmosphere inside the car change. Despite the fact that Cloud liked the kid – probably a little more than he should have – he was still there to do a job. It was easy to forget that when the company was so affable, yet Cloud still felt bad for slapping the kid down. He chanced a look across at his teenage companion and saw his closed down expression, his left hand gripping across his body to pull his right arm against himself defensively. This time Cloud's sigh was audible.

'I was about your age; seventeen, I guess.' Cloud offered. Squall still sat awkwardly next to him, unsure now if this meant they could continue their conversation or not.

'Did… did you like it?' Squall asked hesitantly. There were a few tense moments of silence as the question caused all sorts of pain to sound off in Cloud's chest.

'I loved it.' Cloud replied, his tone contradicting his words. Though they were no lie – Cloud had loved every minute of being in SOLDIER, it was what he had been born to do – he couldn't help but feel the pain that went with those memories; all tainted now.

Squall asked no more questions; the young man sank back into his seat, considering the man that had been sent to protect him with guarded eyes. It hadn't escaped the boys notice that there was something incredibly wrong with Cloud. The man was damaged and that fact caused Squall so much anxiety. The very unpredictable nature of Cloud made Squall feel uneasy and far from safe. There had been so many people come and go in his life and the young man was used to people being there one moment and gone the next. He'd lived his whole life watching people leave him. Feeling secure had always been a far-away concept to him, yet watching Cloud, Squall felt a different kind of disquiet. The man was volatile and unpredictable, sure. That wasn't the problem. It was the way Squall couldn't control _himself_. The man made him feel… nervous, and exposed. Squall had managed to live his whole life without ever feeling he was being laid out for another person to read. Most people ignored him, but Cloud… sometimes he looked at him like he was seeing right through him, and Squall didn't know whether he hated it or craved it.

* * *

Cloud had told Squall to stay in the car while he got the brief from Tsung. The operations leader had been sent up to cover the perimeter and provide look out support, and Cloud would need to know where every man was stationed along the two mile stretch of beach. He'd need to know who was in the house at all times and he would need a list of approved visitors. The blond bodyguard was a little dismayed to find that Squall had none on the last list.

Coming back down the short drive he frowned slightly to see that Squall had gotten out the car and had unloaded the trunk. His anger was softened slightly, amazed that he'd ever had the _thought_ of helping out with the heavy bags, let alone actually gotten off his rich, pampered ass and _done_ it.

'If I'm going to keep you safe these next two weeks, you need to start actually _listening_ to me!' Cloud snapped, yanking a small duffle bag from Squall's hand.

'I was just trying to help.' Squall replied with an annoyed frown.

'Well don't, just do as you're told,' Cloud shot back, squaring his shoulders. He hadn't meant to let his annoyance get the better of him, but he was hot, tired, craving a drink like a bastard and their conversation in the car on the way here hadn't done anything to put him in a better mood either. 'Just… get in the house.' He added a little softer, feeling like a royal asshole as he watched Squall duck his head and move away into the house beckoning Griever behind him, his hurt pride more than palpable to the blond man.

It had been a long drive and now it was early evening and as Cloud lugged the heavy bags inside, he hoped that everyone would disappear soon so he could find that drink. Flinging the bags through the door he was met by Tsung.

'Just doing a second sweep through and then we'll be gone. We'll be contactable on this, its frequency is set so don't touch it,' the tall black haired man said, handing him a coms watch. 'There are no house staff here for another four days due to Mr Leonhart's early summer break this year, so you'll be on your own until they arrive on Thursday. Rude and Reno are on point a mile up the beach due south, and Axel and Braig are on point a mile due north. You should be safe enough.'

Cloud thanked his lucky stars and took the watch, strapping it to his wrist as Tsung finished up his brief. Once the man was gone, Cloud busied himself unloading the bags.

Stepping into the kitchen area, he glanced out of the sliding doors that led to the beach and caught sight of Squall, far off by the low tide, throwing a ball for Griever. The huge dog bounded up the surf, jumping excitedly into the low waves as she scooped up the ball in her mouth and ran it back to the boy's feet, dropping it dutifully and waited for him to pick it up and throw it again. For some reason, the scene caught him. It wasn't the way the beach looked so beautiful in the hazy light of dusk, or the comical way Griever ran down the ball; it was how lonely Squall looked. A slim figure in a huge expanse of open sky and sand, with nothing but the gentle waves behind him made Cloud feel a pull of empathy that he found hard to stomach. He knew that feeling – that isolation – and he hated it. Squall's physical seclusion from everyone had a profound effect on the blond man and he couldn't help but feel a likeness between them. He couldn't ignore the fact that they were indeed very similar, and that this mirroring of each other was revealing things to him that made him want to look away. Not because of Squall, or the things he saw in him, but because of the things they showed in himself.

Dismissing the notion as fast as he could, he unpacked the small food bag that he had brought with them and reached for the bottle at the bottom. Taking into the living area, he unscrewed the cap – not even bothering with a glass - and drank deeply. He sat himself on the large expensive couch and leaned back, pulling his cell from his pocket and flipped it open. Scrolling through his messages, he saw a missed call. Knowing the number off by heart, his chest clenched and he suddenly wanted another drink. Downing more of the spirit, he clicked on the message and brought the phone to his ear, wanting to listen but all the same, very, very afraid.

'_Cloud, it's Aerith… it's been a while huh?' _A light unsure voice spoke up. It made Cloud's heart ache. _'Listen, I know we haven't spoken in a few weeks, but I just wanted to call you and see how you were doing? I… I hope you're not avoiding me, it's just… I guess… look, never mind, just… call me when you can… please?'_ The voicemail cut off and Cloud flipped the phone shut, his head heavy with regret and his heart pounding with pain. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to call her, it's just… he couldn't. Not without feeling… that. If he spoke to her, if he were to go and see her then he wouldn't be able to deny it anymore. Zack wouldn't be there and it would be too real. He needed more time. He needed more space. He needed to forget it had ever happened.

Running a hand through his soft blond hair, he lifted the bottle to his lips and drank some more.

* * *

A gentle hand shook him awake, the smell of dog breath hot and heavy in his nose. Cloud opened his eyes to see a long pink tongue and a black snout inches from his own nose, rank odorous breath blowing heated, moist breath into his face. He groaned and winced, rolling over onto his back and looked up into concerned grey eyes.

'Uuhgh, what time is it?' Cloud asked, rubbing his face and feeling the beginnings of stubble.

'It's Monday morning, you slept through the whole night. Are you okay?' Squall informed him, lifting his hand from the blond's shoulder.

'Oh, uuuh, yeah I guess.' Cloud replied a little bewildered. Confused by his hours of unconsciousness and his rude awakening he scratched at his sore head and sat up, his vision swimming in and out as he acclimatised. He noticed a blanket had been put over him sometime in the night but was worried to find that he couldn't recall when.

'It's really Monday morning?' He asked, feeling a little ashamed that he'd neglected his duties last night, but well, Tsung had said they were safe enough.

'Yeah, about seven.' Squall replied, stepping back a little.

'Haven't you ever heard of a lie in?' Cloud asked him grumpily, checking his own watch for confirmation.

'Seven is late for me.' Squall responded, picking up a mug from the low table behind his legs and handed it to Cloud. 'Here, I made you coffee.' He offered, a little unsure at the dark look on Cloud's face.

Cloud swung his feet down, throwing the blanket off him and softened his features. He took the mug from the kid's hand, nodding slightly in thanks and watched as Squall sat himself down on the table, adjacent to the hung over bodyguard. Griever sat herself at Cloud's feet and watched him with curious, intelligent eyes.

'You were calling out in your sleep last night. I tried to wake you but you were out of it.' Squall said after long moments of silence. When Cloud didn't reply, Squall began to wring his hands. 'D'… Do you get nightmares often?' he dared to ask, noticing the way Cloud's tired gaze flicked to him briefly, heavy with warning.

'Sometimes.' He croaked. Squall nodded, feeling braver.

'Who is Zack?' He asked tentatively, his voice light and curious. He watched with dismay as Cloud's face darkened once again, the man tightening his jaw perceptibly as he stiffly put his coffee down. It wasn't that Squall was afraid of angering this man, he felt no danger to his own personal wellbeing; it was just that he hated to see him so affected by something. The name had obviously caused him a physical reaction from a feeling far too powerful to just ignore. The idea that this seemingly cool, calm and collected person – this soldier – could be wounded made Squall feel more concerned than he was willing to admit.

'He was my friend; we grew up together.' Cloud replied in a flat voice.

The fact that the man had even answered Squall amazed the young man. He hadn't expected to get anything and so he decided not to push his luck anymore. Besides, he didn't want to inflict any more of the terrible memories the subject was obviously bringing up. That look on Cloud's face had been nearly unbearable. Squall nodded, placing his hands on his knees and pushed himself to his feet, whistling for Griever to come to heel.

'I'm going for walk. I'll be back in an hour.' He said softly over his shoulder, catching how Cloud lowered his head into his hands.

* * *

Sometime later, after Cloud had managed to pull himself together enough to eat breakfast, shower and shave, he opened the bathroom door to find Griever laid on the other side, her legs spread out to the side of her as she leisurely blocked his way down the hall. Stepping over the animal, he bent briefly to scratch behind her ears before moving off down the corridor to the living room, knowing that if the stupid mutt was here, then it meant her quiet master was not far behind.

Hearing the gentle notes of a piano, Cloud wondered through the small beach house to the music room and stopped outside of the half closed door. The music that came from inside was light and volatile, its individual notes floating and sad while it's rhythm came sometimes angry and fevered and then hauntingly thin, as if transparent and barely there. Pushing the door open wider, he caught sight of Squall, sat behind the instrument, his profile cut to the side as he watched his fingers, placing them purposefully against the keys, his shoulders square and his back straight as he played.

Cloud was reminded of the night he and Squall had met properly for the first time and how watching him play so brilliantly, so beautifully, had set such an impression on him. Cloud couldn't help but be moved by the soft music, it's hidden, angry undertone in perfect harmony with the young man.

As Squall stopped playing, the boy once again became aware of a presence stood behind him and he turned in mild surprise to see Cloud watching him from the doorway.

'That was beautiful.' Cloud commented honestly. The man stepped into the room, walking around the boy sat at the instrument to see what it was he'd been playing but could see no sheet music in front of him. 'Who wrote that?' He asked catching sight of Squall's pinking cheeks.

'I did.' The young man replied, clearly embarrassed.

'Really?' Cloud asked the incredulous tone in his voice evident. 'Holy shit.' He added, clearly impressed. 'What's it about?'

Squall reached up and scratched at the back of his neck, his bottom lip disappearing into his mouth, worried between his teeth. He gave a sort of half shrug and stuttered out an awkward reply.

'Just… just about someone I know. It's not perfect yet, I only wrote it a couple days ago.' He explained, his shoulders coming down into that familiar rounded hunch.

'It's really good, Squall.' Cloud tried to reassure him, not wanting the already insecure man to feel any more uncomfortable.

'You think so?' Squall replied, a small quirk of his surprised eyebrows and a quick flick of his eyes to confirm that Cloud wasn't messing with him.

'Yeah, hasn't anyone ever told you that?' Cloud asked, concern colouring his words and that uncomfortable tug in his chest setting warning bells off when Squall declined to answer him. 'You and your dad, you don't spend much time together, do you?' Cloud asked, knowing the answer anyway.

'Not really.' Squall answered, shifting uncomfortably on the bench.

'Who do you spend most of your time with?' Cloud had been watching this young man for well over a week now and he had to wrack his brains to try and remember anyone that had come to visit the kid for longer than an hour; anyone who wasn't a language teacher or a math tutor or a cello instructor.

'At the moment?' Squall asked, looking up at the man stood over him with curiosity burning in his unsettling stare. When the man nodded, Squall answered as honestly as he could.

'You.'

The answer upset Cloud more than he'd thought possible. It was sad and tragic and what made it worse was that as Squall stared back at him, Cloud could see in his eyes that the kid knew all of this and would never complain about it. He knew how pathetic his answer was and how that reflected on his life and yet, there was simply no denying it. Squall asked for nothing, despite how lonely and isolated he must feel. He soaked up company, touching it from afar and enjoyed it while he could but then returned to his segregation once it had passed. Cloud felt an unsettling in his stomach that fluttered up into his chest.

'So what else have you written?' he asked, sitting down next to the boy, forcing him to shift sideways slightly. He sat with Squall and listened to him play, his quiet amazement and gentle encouragement flickering through his small smiles and eager elbow as he nudged the boy to play more. It was well into the afternoon by the time Squall stopped, informing Cloud that he had a swim to get in before dinner.

'Ansem gave you a schedule even though you're on vacation?' Cloud asked him, surprised and a little annoyed.

'I always have a schedule.' Squall answered him with a small smile that held no humour before getting up and leaving his bodyguard sat at the piano.

Cloud had no doubt that it would be good for the kid to forget his timetable while they were here. It was the perfect time really. There was no one else about to tell on him and Cloud was there to make sure he wasn't found out. The problem would be convincing Squall.

Cloud climbed to his feet and considered the problem, making his way to the kitchen to cook them something to eat, he waited for Squall to get back from the beach.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Okay, this was fun… too much fun and I'm a terrible person. Don't hate me, please!?

A big thank you to ChangeofHeart for the review: it's a pleasure to know that you're enjoying the song suggestions as well. I don't often get reviews that mention them, despite how big a part they are to the fic. I hope I can make that playlist a little longer!

Enjoy. Xxx

* * *

'_Are you happy, Squall?'_

**Chapter Four**

Cloud had just lit the fire pit that sat in the back yard of the beach house when Squall came wondering up from the surf, a towel hung around his neck as he roughly dried his wet hair. Cloud turned to watch him, his face burning slightly as he tried to ignore the fact that Squall was half naked and dripping wet. Scratching at his neck, he coughed and licked his dry lips, standing up from the fire and called the young man over.

'I made some dinner, needs heating up.' He mumbled, flicking his hand distractedly towards the house. 'Thought we could talk afterwards,' he added, nodding towards the fire he had just lit. 'I made a fire.'

Cloud inwardly winced at his pointless and self-evident comment and mentally kicked himself, ordering his mind to get its shit together and help him out.

'Ah, I'd love to Cloud, but I've got some reading to do and-'

'Can't you just forget about your schedule for one night?' Cloud interrupted. 'I mean, it's not like there's anyone here that's going to tell on you. No one will know.'

Squall hesitated for a moment, his eyebrows drawn and his mouth set in a determined line, before his shoulders slumped slightly and he looked to be wrestling with something. Finally, his gaze shifted, catching and holding Cloud's stare tentatively.

'Sure.' He replied simply. 'Why the hell not?' He disappeared into the house, leaving Cloud to bring the two large wooden terrace chairs down from the decking and set them up in front of the fire.

By the time Squall returned, Cloud had managed to find a bottle of whiskey from somewhere and was sat drinking it from a large round glass tumbler.

'Here.' He offered, holding up a second glass to the young man as he sat down in a pair of plaid pyjama pants and a white tee shirt.

'I'm not allowed to drink that, Cloud; I'm seventeen.' Squall informed the blond man matter-of-factly.

'Yeah well, for tonight you're old enough and I'm not taking no for an answer.' Cloud replied, rattling the glass, making the ice inside it tinkle. When Squall still refused to take the drink Cloud sighed dramatically. 'Holy Hyne, Squall, live a little will ya? No one is going to find out,' he repeated himself. 'You're supposed to be on vacation, right? Take a break from that stick up your butt!'

Squall frowned deeply but took the offered drink.

'I don't have a stick up my butt.' He returned churlishly. He brought the glass to his lips and took a small sip, wrinkled his nose and gave a short, aborted cough as he swallowed. 'Oh god this is hideous.' He choked out, spluttering and wiping at his burning mouth.

Cloud chuckled and took a leisurely sip of his own. 'You get used to it.' He laughed into his glass.

For long comfortable moments, the two men sat watching the flickering fire, listening to it hiss and pop and the sound of the gentle waves as they crashed behind them in the gathering dusk. Gulls flew lazily overhead, and the setting sun was only just disappearing behind the house, turning the sky a dazzling orange and pink.

'It's nice out here; I can see why you like coming here so much.' Cloud commented, leaning his head back in his chair to watch the swooping birds; out of the corner of his eye, he could see Griever on the crest of the beach chasing the gulls as they landed, jumping and snapping at them as they lifted back into the air.

'It's kinda like the only place I can relax, you know?' Squall admitted, raising a knee and rested his chin on it. 'Up here I don't have to be the senator's son: I can just be me.'

Cloud looked over at his evening companion in mild surprise. He hadn't expected the young man to be so candid. Maybe the whiskey wasn't such a bad idea all round, Cloud mused to himself.

'Is being the senator's son all bad?' He asked.

Squall blew out a long breath, a few messy bangs shifting around his face.

'You get to meet a lot of people. There's always a charity dinner or a function or something happening. Ansem usually insists that I go to most of them. Mostly I just study.' Squall said with a wry smile.

'Yeah, you study – _a lot_.' Cloud agreed, thinking back to his own very limited schooling. Academia hadn't really been for him: SOLDIER had taught him all he needed to know. 'I mean, what sort of stuff do you learn anyway?' He asked leaning forward to place another log on the fire.

'Mostly politics.' Squall answered with a shrug. 'I have piano and cello lessons and a languages teacher.'

'Languages teacher? How many do you speak?' Cloud asked incredulously.

'Six.' Squall replied a little embarrassed.

'Fluently?'

Squall nodded, taking another sip of whiskey with a grimace. Cloud whistled and sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he marvelled at the genius he was sat next to.

'Fuck; you've got everything covered huh?'

Squall laughed a little, lowering his foot to the ground with a small stumble.

'You have no idea; I even had formal dance lessons when I was younger.'

The idea of Squall being pulled around by a matriarchal middle aged woman, screaming '_step, step, TURN!'_ was almost too much for Cloud and he let out a loud laugh, catching Squall by surprise. The young man watched his bodyguard throw his head back with laughter and felt the sides of his mouth turn up in amusement. Seeing that smile on Cloud's face, knowing he was the cause filled Squall with equal parts warmth and terror. Why he should feel so affected by the blond man's smile made Squall feel that unease again, like a small part of him had been peeled away to reveal what was underneath. He pushed it aside with a small amount of effort and allowed that comforting, dizzying warmth to surge through him, feeling his fingers tingle with the pleasure of it. Squall had no idea making someone else happy, making them laugh, could feel this… nice.

Cloud's infectious laughter eventually died down and the two sat enjoying the last soft chuckles that rippled outwards, softening and relaxing the two men.

'Do you still remember any of it?' Cloud asked, eyebrows raised in a cheeky challenge.

'What do you think? I've remembered everything I've ever been taught since I was five years old.' Squall replied with a w_ho do you think you're talking to_ ring in his tone. He didn't know if it was the drink, but for some reason he felt oddly proud of that fact instead of just embarrassed or awkward.

'Oh yeah? Show me.' Cloud demanded, sweeping his hand out in front of him for Squall to take the floor. After a few moments of consideration the young man rose to the challenge.

'Okay, but you'll have to help me. I can't do it without a partner.' Squall put his drink aside, spilling some over his hand in the process and stood on wobbly legs for a moment, before adjusting the waistband of his pants and holding a hand out for Cloud to take.

Cloud's cheeks pinked, his whole body heated up at the sight of a drunk and grinning Squall asking him to dance. His hair was still slightly damp from his shower and messed up at the back. His white tee rippled in the soft breeze, cutting across toned muscle. Squall's pants were riding low, and Cloud could just see the top of the brunet's groin and the tantalising v that accentuated his hips.

Cloud swallowed thickly, his mouth all of a sudden incredibly dry and he felt a stirring in his cock that he hadn't felt for a very, very long time. It hit him like a lightning bolt, shooting up his body and searing him from the inside, leaving a pleasant radiating warmth in its wake.

'You want me… to dance… with you?' Cloud stuttered out, pointing first at himself and then at Squall. The young man nodded, a wicked smile arching his delicate mouth.

'Sure. If you wanna see this dance, you have to help me.'

'But… there's no music.' Cloud defended pitifully.

'That doesn't matter; I'll keep time.' Squall gestured again for Cloud to stand up, that gorgeous smirk still on his lips.

Cloud let out a small nervous laugh of defeat, before throwing his hands up. He put his drink down and stood up.

'Alright, fine. Let's do this!' he said, gripping onto Squall's outstretched hand.

'I'll lead.' Squall informed him, reaching down to take Cloud's other hand from his waist. Cloud's jaw tightened.

'Why do I have to be the girl?' He complained with a soft pout.

'Because you wanted to see this stupid dance; so now you're the girl. So shut up and pay attention.' Squall responded with a gentle shove. Cloud gripped onto Squall's waist a little tighter to keep himself from stumbling backwards, the momentum bringing their bodies into contact as they counterbalanced. Their face's only inches from each other's, an awkward, tense filled moment passed between the two as they both realised this was the closest they had ever been to each other. That imagined, assumed barrier that had kept the two physically apart was now well and truly broken.

'It's a square formation,' Squall finally said, breaking the short silence and reached out to take Cloud's hand again, lifting the blond's arms into the right positions. 'We're going in that direction so just… follow me.' The young man nodded over Cloud's shoulder, indicating which way they were to move.

As they tripped and stumbled around the first few times, they eventually fell in to an easier rhythm, Squall's gentle amused chuckle peppering his words as he guided the blond man through the steps. For Cloud's part, he just tried not to step on Squall's feet, whilst trying to make sure he didn't get too close to the disarmingly attractive young man.

'Hey, you've got it.' Squall commented, looking down at their shifting feet.

'Aaah, I think it's all down to the teacher, I promise you it's not me.' Cloud replied awkwardly, his heart jumping into his mouth at the feel of Squall's hand around his waist. The boy's slender fingers were pressed around the hem of his tee shirt, dangerously close to bare skin and Cloud was certain that he could feel the slightest of tremors through them.

As Squall looked up, genuine surprise in his eyes, Cloud stumbled. Squall wobbled with him, catching him round the arms in a steadying grip. The blond man felt the boy's hands move, sliding across his chest for the briefest of touches before they skimmed his belly and stilled at his hips, gripping lightly to anchor the man in front of him.

'You really think I'm good at all this stuff?' Squall asked cynically, doubt written so legibly in his grey eyes. Cloud had to clear his throat, his tongue flat and useless as he took in the sight of Squall, bleary eyed and tipsy. His ruffled hair framed a drink flushed face that was staring at him so vulnerably Cloud had to remind himself to take his next breath.

'Yeah, sure,' Cloud managed to reply, his voice a little strained. 'Doesn't anyone ever tell you?' Cloud asked him, feeling again that unsettling notion that something wasn't quite right with Squall's home life. A sadness came over Squall's gaze, that mischievous spark that lit up his eyes went out and his playful smile slipped, his face once again a blank and unreadable mask.

'They tell me when I get it wrong.' He finally answered with a humourless twist of his lip.

'Doesn't your dad ever tell you you're good?' Cloud asked feeling an incredible swell of emotion for the young man stood in front of him.

'He's not my dad.' Squall's reply was quick and dark, the drunken words coming out in a quiet and unintentional snarl. There were a few seconds of thought process in Cloud's over crowded mind before he registered the meaning behind the boy's sudden outburst.

'You mean… you don't think of senator Ansem as your father?'

It was a long while before Squall answered. His features had slipped in to a guilty frown and as he broke eye contact, Squall shook his head in a small dejected no.

'I guess… he's the closest thing I've ever had, but… I just…' Squall seemed to be struggling with his thoughts, like the revelation he'd just voiced was new and untested; a realisation he'd only just come to had suddenly made itself known and it had shocked and disarmed the boy.

Cloud watched the emotions waging war on Squall's newly exposed face, the whiskey had managed to crumble some of the young man's defences and now his feelings were easier to read. They flitted across his gaze in minute accents – fleeting moments of understanding – and with a small surge of bravery, Cloud pushed a little further.

'Are you happy, Squall?' The question was soft and tentative. The brunet looked at him then, a brief flutter of confusion crossing his face as if he had never considered the question before; as if the very idea of being happy had never crossed his mind. With a lie as brazen and as obvious as the scar across his face, Squall answered in a forced and toneless voice.

'Why wouldn't I be?'

A small stab of anger spiked through Cloud's chest. Squall was lying to him and they both knew it. It hurt Cloud to know that the kid didn't trust him. He was supposed to be his bodyguard and if the young man couldn't trust him enough to be honest with him, what did that mean for Squall's physical body? Did he not trust Cloud enough to protect it? Either way, there was doubt there; the realisation that Squall doubted him – mistrusted him – made Cloud feel a mixture of anger and shame.

He stepped away from Squall, a dark shadow passing over his eyes and a slight frown creased his forehead. Before he could think of anything to say, Griever came running over the brow. She barked a few times, her tail wagging as she bounded into the small garden and ran a couple of circles around the two men, stopping at Squall's feet. She sat down with an exhausted hrrumph, her tongue lolling out to the side as she panted heavily and looked up at her master with a pleased, satisfied expression.

Squall wobbled slightly and broke their heated moment, looking down at Griever with a troubled expression. Unable to lift his gaze to look at Cloud again, he scratched at Griever's ears before walking uneasily back to his chair. He sat with a heavy sigh, watching out of the corner of his eye as Cloud seated himself too.

The blond man picked up his drink, taking a long gulp that burned away nicely next to his worked up feelings. He looked across at Squall and traced the outline of his profile with a careful, considering gaze. For a second, his thoughts skipped back to the night before and the image of Squall alone on the beach and it made him think again of the boy's remoteness. It was like the kid existed in the world, without actually touching any of it: he drifted. Cloud thought of all the people in Squall's life and couldn't pin down a single person who had had any real, meaningful, purposeful interaction with him. He didn't connect to anybody. Cloud realised with a sudden flash of clarity and sadness that Squall had no one in his life that he was attached to. He had no one to rely on or turn to and no one but himself to keep him company and make him happy. It was the loneliest and most hollow realisation Cloud had ever had.

'Where are you friends, Squall?' He asked out of the blue and saw the young man tense slightly. He watched Squall's immobilised face – his features stiff – as the kid reached down and scratched at Grievers ears again as if to say, _they're right here._

Cloud's sullen mood slipped lower and he lapsed into silence, quietly sipping his drink and only moved to refill it. Once Squall's drink was empty he topped it up again.

'I guess… I don't really have time for them.' Squall eventually answered, taking Cloud by surprise. 'But there's always someone around at Radiant Gardens. I'm very rarely alone.'

Cloud considered all of the security personnel, the house staff and cooks, tutors and teachers that swarmed Squall's life, eating up his time and kept him distracted and busy and wondered whether he should mention that that hadn't been quite what he'd meant.

'You can be stood in the middle of a crowded room and still be the loneliest person in the world, Squall.' He replied softly.

The comment made the young man's already tense body tighten even further, a dark frown twisting his face into a scowl. Cloud watched the boy close down in front of him, watching as any chance to talk further, slipped away fraction by fraction. Eventually, Squall lent forwards, his arms wrapped around his middle as he made to stand up.

'I'm going to bed.' He mumbled, leaving his half-finished glass of whiskey on the arm of his chair. Griever followed him dutifully into the house, leaving Cloud to sit by himself with nothing but the crickets and the snapping fire.

* * *

The sound of a bullet ripping through Cloud's unconscious mind made the blond man think for one terrifying moment that his dream had come to horrible life. He was startled awake from where he had passed out the night before, slumped in his garden chair, by the sound of a high pitched, unbearable squeal that rang out so loudly it shot through him with an ache.

Cloud bolted upright, his blood already pounding in his ears as his bleary eyes scanned his surroundings, taking in the garden bathed in milky dawn light, the ashes of the cold fire and the open gate that led to the beach. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the sliding door open, a billow of curtain as Squall stepped out and came to stand on the wooden decking, his gaze cast out into the sandy mounds that sloped gently off to the south.

Another gunshot peeled out, cracking the morning air like a whip and suddenly Cloud was on his feet, his senses swimming as he tried to sharpen them to where the gunfire was coming from. In a blur of white tee shirt and chocolate brown hair, his heart began to pound faster, climbing into his mouth as Squall ran past him, darting out of the garden and bolted for the dunes. He heard the boy cry a sharp and panicked 'Griever!' and like a lock sliding home the situation became clear to him.

Briefly registering the beeping coming from his coms watch, Cloud broke into a run after Squall, his mind clearing as the adrenaline started to take over.

'Squall!' He shouted only for the sound to be drowned out by another shot. This time Cloud could see a small puff of sand rise up into the air only fifty yards away, kicked up by the errant bullet. 'Squall, get down!' He yelled again, pumping his legs faster to try and reach the young man that was running full speed towards a small brown bundle collapsed in the valley of a sand dune ahead of them. He watched Squall crumble to his knees beside the fallen dog, any sound that came from the boy's mouth eclipsed by the fear and blood rushing in his ears as more clouds of sand were kicked up around the two huddled shapes, obscuring them for the briefest of moments in a shower of bullets. With a dread terror that he was already far too late, Cloud pushed himself faster, lowering his head as he ran straight at Squall and tackled him round the shoulders, bringing him down onto his back and into the lee side of the dune.

More bullets rained around them, the sound of them deafening as they battered the air making everything vibrate. Cloud pressed his body down, tucking Squall's head under his chin and curled his body tighter round the young man.

Squall clung back to him, his fists twisted into the blond man's tee shirt and his face pressed into Cloud's neck, flinching instinctively as each bullet ripped past them and buried itself into the ground. After a few more terrifying seconds, the gunfire stopped and all that filled the deafening silence that followed were short sharp breaths.

With a small shudder, Cloud kicked himself into action, raising his head and checked over the brow of the dune. He could see nothing but the long waving grasses of the fields behind the beach, his keen eyes picking up no movement. Like a light switch flipping in his head, his next fear took over and he glanced down, his hands coming up to take Squall's face as the younger man looked up at him, wide eyed and terrified.

'Are you alright?' He asked in a rush, his eyes scanning as much of the brunet's body as he could see. 'Are you hit?' He demanded forcefully.

As Squall looked up at the man above him covering his numb body with his own, the brunet could barely think. His mind was awash with the echo of bullets and fear and all he could register at that moment was that Cloud had thrown himself in front of it all. He started to shake, each breath growing more difficult to draw into his lungs as he tried to process Cloud's question.

'Squall, are you hurt?' Cloud almost screamed at him, taking the boy's face into his hands again.

With a small shake of his head, Squall replied. Trying to take stock of everything he felt, his body gradually came back to him; acutely aware of Cloud's body above his own, pressing down on him.

'No.' He replied weakly, his voice sounding in his head like it was coming from inside a tin can. 'No, I don't think…' He looked down at himself, bewildered and disorientated but could feel no pain and could see no blood.

Cloud pulled away, climbing off the young man to check for himself as his hands slid down the boy's body, checking everywhere before he sat back on his heels breathing heavily, relief clear in his tight expression. The bodyguard suddenly tensed, his head flicking to the left as two figures appeared to the south, running towards them. Cloud stood up, shoulders square and ridged before they softened a little. Recognising the two figures of Reno and Rude coming towards them at a dead run, Cloud waited for them to get closer.

'Where the fuck have you been? What the hell just happened?' He yelled gesturing in the direction of the softly waving grasses.

'We came as soon as we heard the first shot. What happened, did you get a good look?' Reno asked in between heavy pants of breath.

'I was too busy trying not to get my head blown off!' Cloud snapped, feeling his heart skip with surplus adrenaline. 'I thought you were supposed to be covering the fucking perimeter?'

'They must have slipped past us.' Reno replied with a small shrug.

Cloud's anger peaked and he pounced forwards taking Reno by his collar and shoved him back. He was about to raise his fist and pound the man's features out of existence before Rude stepped in, holding the two men apart as Reno's own hands came up to defend himself.

'Hey, hey, calm down. We need to contact Tsung and get a clean-up team out here. This place isn't safe anymore. We need to debrief and see if we can find out who did this.' Rude reasoned, holding Cloud by his shoulders.

Breathing angrily through his nose, Cloud continued to scowl at Reno as he let Rude's words sink in. He knew the man was right, but Cloud had never wanted to rip anything apart as badly as he did right then. Stepping away from the both of them, he turned to check on Squall to find that the young man had moved from where he had been pushed up against the dune and was now kneeling beside the body of Griever.

The dog had been hit in the flank and Cloud recalled that terrible squeal he had heard that had woken him up. Above the shot that had maimed the animal was another bloody bullet wound, right through the animal's chest. The sand around her had turned a blackened, burnished red and in an instant, Cloud's rage was gone; bled away to leave a terrible aching pain in his chest.

He watched as Squall shuffled closer to the dog, his shaking hand coming to rest in the soft fur of her neck, now spattered with blood. The young man bowed his head, his shoulders beginning to shake as he bent low and buried his face into the animal's pelt, soft sobs muffled by her thick coat as his fists clenched.

Cloud stepped closer, all of his anger and shock now gone to leave him boneless and weak, filled with pain and empathy as he watched Squall cry. He crouched down next to the huddled boy and reached his hand out, placing it tentatively on Squall's back and could feel the terrible shudders that gripped his body. Overwhelmed with the boy's pain, he tried to push aside that nagging worry to move and give Squall some time, but the SOLDIER in him told him he didn't have that luxury.

'Squall, we have to get inside the house.' He said, taking the brunet's shoulder.

With a small tug, he pulled the young man upright and tugged him to his feet, letting the boy rest heavily against him as he guided him back through the gentle slopes as quickly as he could.

'Reno, get the dog.' He called over his shoulder, catching Squall as he stumbled slightly in the shifting sand.

* * *

By the time they had reached the house, Squall's soft sniffs had ceased. Cloud guided him through the kitchen area and into the living room, settling him on the couch before sitting opposite him on the coffee table. The boy looked utterly shaken. His face was white and drawn, his eyes red rimmed and shining and dry, salty tear marks tracked their way down his sand blown face. His eyes were glassy and vacant and his bottom lip trembled faintly.

'Squall?' Cloud called softly. Lifting a hand, he gently placed it over Squall's tightly grasped fingers and didn't fail to notice how the boy flinched just the tiniest amount. 'Squall!' Cloud called again a little more forcefully.

Squall stirred, his vacant stare snapping back to focus on Cloud in an instant.

'Are you okay?' Cloud's voice softened, his left hand coming out to cup the brunet's cheek. Squall opened his mouth as if to answer, the words clearly getting stuck on his tongue. Eventually he just nodded, the effort of physically forcing his body to relax more than obvious.

'Are you sure you're not hurt?'

Squall's eyes slid shut and he nodded tiredly, unclenching his jaw.

With a gentle look, Cloud watched as Squall gradually pulled himself back together. The shock of the attack was passing and extreme fatigue was kicking in. Before Cloud could suggest that the brunet try and get some sleep, Rude walked into the living room, the red haired Reno just behind him.

'We need somewhere to bury the dog.' Reno announced bluntly.

Both Squall and Cloud looked up at their entrance, the blond haired man's irritation bubbling under the surface again.

'I'll do it.' Squall announced, standing abruptly.

'I don't think that's a very good idea, I think you-'

'I said, I'll do it!' Squall interrupted Cloud as his bodyguard stood. Squall's gaze was once again steady and steely; his storm grey eyes alight with warning. For some reason, it reassured Cloud.

'Fine,' Cloud replied, drawing back his own aggression to soften his features. 'Do you need any help?'

'No.' Squall replied, with a soft shake of his head. He stepped around Cloud and walked over to Reno, holding his hands out to take the body of Griever into his own arms. Struggling only slightly with the large bundle, Squall carried her outside.

'Go and stand watch while he buries her, I need to ring this in to HQ.' Cloud ordered, nodding his head after the retreating back of the young man. He didn't wait to watch the pair leave as he turned and flipped his phone open, dialling with steady hands. His thoughts floated for a moment as he briefly realised how it was the steadiest he had felt in a long time. His aching knee forgotten and the cobwebs of his hangover blown away by fear and adrenaline, Cloud had never felt better.

As the ringing tone stopped and Tsung's voice sounded on the other end, Cloud's mind snapped back to their situation and he spoke low and urgently into the phone.

'Sir, there's been an incident: code five.'


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I am so sorry this is so late! My hospital is being inspected by the Care Quality Commission (CQC) this week. They are basically the governing body of the NHS and have the power to shut us down if we fail our targets so the last month has just been completely ridiculous and everyone has being going understandably batshit. I've been so busy I've not even had chance to work on this. Anyways, excuses out of the way, I can promise you a longer chapter next time. I had this bit and the next all written together as one long chapter, but I felt it would be too much going on in too short a time. Plus, I've kept you all waiting long enough, I think!

The next chapter will be out stupidly soon, and I hope you all enjoy this little (pathetic) update.

* * *

_"Cloud... please... don't go."_

**Chapter Five**

Nearly twenty four hours later the adrenaline of the attack had worn off and Cloud was left feeling strung out. In their rush to move from the beach house they had travelled over-night, driving the long miles back to Hollow Bastian and Radiant Gardens. The bodyguard had managed to find a shirt and tie from somewhere and he was anxiously tugging at the rough knot he had made around his neck as he walked the dull grey corridors of HQ. The backs of his eyes stung and his head thumped mildly right above his temples. Coming to a stop outside a door marked "920, Interrogation" he waited a few moments to gather his errant thoughts.

Skimming through the events of the previous day he looked down at himself and immediately began to regret not ironing his clothes. He smoothed the creases out as best he could and tucked the tail ends of his shirt into his trousers. With one final, consolatory sigh, he raised his hand and knocked on the door.

The stiff and formal 'Come in.' came quickly and Cloud wasted little time dithering on the other side. He opened the door and walked into the average sized room. It was blank and stark and like everywhere in the underground bunker the static strip lights overhead cast a soft, unnatural glow over the table and the three people currently sat at it.

Cloud closed the door behind him, keeping his tired features as neutral as possible. He nodded his head in turn at Xemnas and Tsung, his eyes skimming briefly over the third person with curiosity.

The woman was middle aged and tall, her long black hair pulled back into a sleek and low ponytail and her sharp, crisp black suit made Cloud's efforts seem prolifically pathetic. Her face was sharp and pointed, her keen eyes flashed with intelligence. Cloud felt himself shrink slightly under her intense gaze and waited to be invited to sit.

'One of these days, Strife, your luck is going to run out.' Xemnas spoke softly, lifting his eyes from his notes that he had been reading.

'Sir?' Cloud asked, not really following.

'We've reviewed the evidence that came back from the debrief in Balamb. Ballistics confirmed we're dealing with another Organisation XIII hit, however this information is rather superfluous considering the circumstances surrounding your protection of Mr Leonhart!' Xemnas spoke carefully and pointedly across the table, his hands folded neatly over the open pages of a Manila folder. His stare was even and consistent and for some reason it made Cloud's stomach twist with anxiety. He briefly wondered why now of all times he was taking this reprimand seriously, but the intonation behind Xemnas' words struck him.

'Sir?' Cloud asked again dumbly. His eyes flicked from Tsung to his superior and glanced sparingly at the woman sat to Xemnas' left. The very fact she hadn't been introduced put him on edge. Cloud's overworked, exhausted mind tried one last time to snap back into shape, making sensible thoughts out of what was happening around him.

'We have reason to believe you were intoxicated whilst on duty, compromising Mr Leonhart's safety. Had this incident not occurred, you may well have gotten away with it. As it is, this brings into question your fitness to carry on protecting the senator's son.'

Cloud swallowed thickly, feeling his hands begin to curl instinctively at his sides as he stood there. He hadn't honestly really given a lot of thought to what would happen if he messed up. The idea of losing his job hadn't really struck him with much fear; his disinterest and apathy towards his own situation had caused him to become sloppy, yet none of that bothered him as much as knowing he'd put the kid in jeopardy. What bothered him more was that the realisation had only just occurred to him.

'Sir, I-'

'From what we've gathered from intelligence, we can assume that this was a warning.' The woman finally spoke, looking pointedly at Cloud, a dense silence hanging in the air around them. 'If they'd really meant to target Mr Leonhart, from the evidence we have, I have no doubt that he'd be dead already.' Cloud felt his throat tighten and his chest constrict. 'It was by pure chance and luck alone that you were able to protect him as much as you did.'

He held her stare as best he could, that guilty nagging in the pit of his stomach making it hard to keep his gaze level. He let the silence linger on, unsure if this was his opportunity to speak or if he would be better served if he remained quiet.

'Do you understand what we are saying to you, Mr Strife?' The black haired woman spoke again, her intense eyes cutting Cloud to ribbons. The blond bodyguard understood all too well. Squall wasn't alive because of anything that Cloud had done. He was alive only because Organization XIII hadn't wanted him dead. Essentially, Cloud realised, he had failed and he had failed a long time before the terrible incident on the beach yesterday morning.

'I do.' He managed to croak out, feeling that familiar weight of disappointment and self-loathing settle on him.

'I came down here this morning with every intention of dismissing you.' The woman cut sharply, 'However Xemnas has convinced me to review your performance and give you a period of grace. You will be suspended from duty until further notice. Once our investigation and review of your performance over the last three months has been evaluated, we will contact you. If you have any questions you may direct them to Xemnas. I hope that this is the last time that I will have to come down here and waste my time.'

As the woman closed her own set of files and gathered her things it suddenly struck Cloud who was sat in front of him. Edea Kramer stood, her long fluid frame graceful and elegant as the Head of Secret Service Operations and the personal aide to senator Ansem walked past Cloud, leaving only the faintest traces of her perfume in the air as she disappeared.

'Have you any questions, Strife?'

Cloud turned his attention back to Xemnas and shook his head.

'Then you are hereby suspended from duty until further notice. Gather your things and return home, we will contact you when it is appropriate for you to return to work.' Xemnas waved him off with a short gesture of his hand, before gathering his own notes together. Cloud nodded stiffly and retreated, his head hung low and his cheeks burning with shame. He ran his sweaty palms over the crumpled mess of his shirt and tie and felt again that keen wave of humiliation. In all the weeks and months that he had been working for the senator, he had never been bothered by the thought of losing his job. But the reality of it, knowing he had come so close to something so disastrous made that guilt and shame feel like a weight he would never be able to shift.

He thought of Zack and immediately, despite everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours, he wanted another drink.

* * *

He was packing what little belongings he had into his holdall when Cloud heard a soft knock on the door frame of his small quarters. He glanced over his shoulder expecting to see Reno and was surprised to find Squall stood sheepishly on the threshold. Although the young man had managed to sleep for a few hours in the car on the drive back from Balamb, he still looked tired. His face was drawn and pale and dark shadows rested under his bright, sliver/grey eyes. 'I thought you'd be sleeping.' Cloud offered quietly as he turned back to his half packed bag.

'Is it true?' Squall asked, his voice small and strained in the quiet room. 'Are you leaving?'

Cloud's hands tightened around the straps of his bag, his shoulders tensing slightly before they slumped inwards. 'It's not like a have a choice here, Squall.' He replied lamely.

'Will… will you be back?'

Cloud heard the soft, muted steps of Squall's feet as he moved into the room and could feel the young man's presence behind him, weighing heavily on his back and Cloud felt a mixture of guilt and relief flood him. That very weight pressed against his back was all the older man needed to know that Squall was still alive – still here – and it comforted him in some small way. No real harm had come to the young man but still, Cloud couldn't claim any of that for himself. He wasn't the reason Squall was still standing – still breathing – quietly behind him.

'I don't know.' Cloud thought that if his past behaviour was anything to go by, then he had absolutely no right to expect his job back.

'But… but you didn't do anything wrong. If it hadn't been for you-'

'It's not like I did anything right either, Squall.' Cloud interrupted him, finally turning to face the young man. Squall only looked up at him, his face crestfallen and slightly confused.

'But… all those bullets… you pushed me out of the way. If you hadn't…'

'Those bullets missed you on purpose, not because of anything I did.' Cloud explained, trying his best to ignore how awful he felt, not only at his own failures but knowing that Squall now knew the truth of the situation as well. At the confused and slightly angry look on Squall's face, Cloud explained further. 'Those shooters never meant to kill you; they were a warning.'

'A warning?' Squall asked darkly. 'They killed my dog to warn me?'

'Not you, your fathe- senator Ansem.' A long silence stretched out as this new information turned itself over in Squall's head.

'But… why?'

Cloud shook his head. 'I don't know. But you shouldn't be thanking me for saving your life yesterday, Squall. I had nothing to do with it.' Cloud turned back to his half packed bag and began to stuff the rest of his belonging into it. After a short uncomfortable silence in which Cloud mentally begged the younger man to leave, Squall spoke again.

'But you didn't know that at the time. You didn't know they weren't there to kill me. You still pushed me out of the way.'

Cloud stopped his packing, the impact of Squall's words derailing his bitter train of thought and for an instant he felt slightly better.

'You risked your life to protect me; it doesn't matter what anyone else says.'

Cloud's heart thumped softly against his ribcage, his rising pulse beating thickly in his neck as he felt Squall move closer to him. A hand on his bicep made him jolt and look down, and he tried his best to resist the silent instruction for him to turn around.

'Cloud… please… don't go.' The hand on his arm tightened a fraction and Cloud's wildly pounding heart skipped several beats.

'It's not up to me.' He replied, his voice low and horse. He roughly zipped his bag closed, breaking whatever it was that had settled over the two of them and turned in a half circle, catching Squall's distressed face. 'I'm sorry, Squall, but I _have_ to leave.'

Cloud's words settled heavily between them as Squall cut his eyes to the floor and nodded his head weakly. His choppy bangs fell across his features, moving and swaying with the motion of his reluctant agreement.

All of a sudden, Cloud felt the urge to reach out and pull the young man into a fierce hold, consoling him and assuaging his own guilt at the same time. Instead, he stepped backwards, turning at the last minute, and walked out of the door.

* * *

As Cloud made his way to his car, the soft gravel crunching under his boots, he heard his name being called. He turned and saw Reno jogging towards him, his bright red hair, catching the morning sunlight, making it look like living, breathing fire.

'Yo, Cloud, wait up man!' Reno called as Cloud turned back to his car. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk to Reno - about anything. 'Cloud, wait.' The red haired man called out as he placed a hand on the shorter man's shoulder. Cloud supressed a soft sigh and turned back to his colleague.

'What do you want, Reno?'

'I just wanted to say sorry, for yesterday I mean. We should have been there sooner.' Reno removed his hand from Cloud's shoulder and took a step back. 'I heard what happened.' He added, nodding at Cloud's holdall. 'That's a shitty deal, yo.'

Cloud fished in his pockets for his car keys, shaking his head at the red haired man's consolation.

'It's my own fault.' He said, pressing the jagged edge of the key into his palm.

'Still, I can't understand how they knew we were going to be there. We were early this year and no one was supposed to know.' Reno replied, shaking his head.

'Whatever, it doesn't matter.' Cloud turned to open his car when Reno's next words halted him in his tracks.

'Xemnas thinks we have a mole.'

Cloud turned sharply, locking his tired and bloodshot eyes with Reno's serious ones.

'A mole? But why? Why now?' he asked trying to think back over any conversation, any information he had been given as to why the senator and Radiant Gardens were being targeted by terrorists.

'Something to do with a new law being passed. The senator has been working on it, trying to push it through for the last two years and he's nearly finished. Xemnas thinks there is someone that's been planted in the last few months that is giving away vital information to Organization XIII.' Reno replied, looking pointedly at Cloud. The blond man stared back, confused for a moment before the full implications of Reno's words hit him. Cloud had been recently employed within the last few months; he had been at the beach house and knew their locations. He had just been suspended prior an investigation and…

'Reno,' Cloud asked evenly, 'Am I a suspect?'

The red haired man looked torn, his face warring with guilt and suspicion.

'We all are, man.' He replied, throwing his hands out wide.

Cloud let the gravity of the situation settle fully on him before his mind raced through all of the events that had happened: at the beach house, his fear and panic for Squall and the boy's distress over Griever. He thought of the young man and how his small, innocuous life had become tangled up in something obviously much larger than him and Cloud had to fight hard not to turn around and march right back into the mansion.

'Look, Reno,' Cloud began, clenching his jaw when he thought of Squall's face just as he'd left. 'I don't know if I'll be back… Xemnas was pretty pissed, but just… just promise me,' Cloud's gaze flickered up, catching Reno's and he held it, pressing his meaning heavily into his next words. 'Just promise me you'll take care of Squall. He's important in this… to m-' Cloud stopped himself, pressing the edge of the key into his palm again to keep him grounded.

Reno nodded his head. 'I will.' He agreed, holding his hand out for Cloud to shake. Reluctantly, Cloud grasped it, before climbing into his car and drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Okay, so here is the next chapter as promised. A lot longer than the last so I hope all is forgiven?

I've had some beautiful art and gifts recently from some of you wonderful people, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you.

Redyoshi: you always delight me with your wonderful drawings that just keep getting better and better. I must write something for you, don't let me forget!

Pierrot Taciturne: what a wonderful surprise that was! Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

And finally, RhythmandBlues: that drawing melted my heart. I can't begin to tell you how much. Thank you!

I'm trying to steer away from song lyrics for this story; however one song in particular has lodged itself in my mind and refuses to budge. So, I'd like to recommend Many of Horror by Biffy Clyro for this chapter. It also sort of encompasses the whole story so… yeah, it's a good-un! Please go listen.

* * *

'_You're a pathetic piece of shit, Cloud, d'you know that?'_

**Chapter Six**

The continuous banging on the front door of Cloud's apartment beat in time with his pounding headache and awoke him from his drunken slumber. The blond cracked a groggy eye open and squinted against the single stream of light that cut in through his half-closed curtains, casting his living room in a dingy light. He groaned and rolled over on his lumpy couch, wincing as the movement intensified the pain behind his eyeballs.

'Cloud, are you in there?' A light female voice asked from behind the closed door.

Despite his aching head and cloggy brain, Cloud recognised Aerith's voice. He froze, holding himself as still as he could to avoid making any noise and waited for the woman to disappear. The knocking came again seconds later, this time more tentative and unsure.

'Cloud?... Please, if you're in there we need to talk.'

Long moments passed before the blond finally heard the retreating footsteps disappear down the old wooden staircase and a deep silence blanketed the apartment. Cloud let out the breath he'd been holding and scrubbed at his tired face, groaning his frustration as he turned himself over on the couch and buried his head under a cushion. In the months since returning from Wutai, he'd had plenty of experience feeling like a grade A shit, but for some reason, it was harder to reason with this morning.

Cloud was just on the cusp of drifting back to sleep when he heard footsteps on the stairs again. They stopped outside his door and seconds later a key turned in the lock. Unceremoniously, the door was shouldered open and the-none-too impressed voice of Tifa carried across the small space to where Cloud was buried under a blanket.

'You're a pathetic piece of shit, Cloud, d'you know that?' Tifa reprimanded, closing the door behind her with her foot as she balanced a tray of food in her hands. She stopped in front of the couch, eyeing the cluttered coffee table before sighing and clearing a space with a sweep of her hand, sending rubbish and old bottles of scotch tipping to the floor. She placed the tray down and stood with her hands on her hips as Cloud untangled himself from his blanket and sat up.

'I know.' He mumbled, scratching at his stubbly chin and cradled his aching head in his hands. The smell of the food sent his stomach turning and he grimaced as it revolted heavily at the prospect of breakfast.

'She came all the way across town to see you, the least you could have done was open the god damned door.' Tifa looked about herself, an eyebrow raised. 'But considering the state of the place, maybe it's a good job you didn't.'

'Does this lecture come free with the food?' Cloud bit back, his temper inching upwards in spikes.

'No, the lecture's free. So is the food actually. In fact, so is everything that you eat and drink around here. Now you come to mention it, I can't remember the last time you paid rent on this place either, so if you wanna start running your mouth off that's fine, just keep giving me reasons to kick your ass out, Cloud, because I am this close to being done with you.' Tifa replied, lifting her hand up to create less than an inch between her thumb and forefinger.

Cloud squinted up at her through one screwed up eye. He had heard this threat before, and although he knew he was treading on incredibly thin ice, he doubted very much whether his life-long friend would actually kick him out. He knew Tifa was a fireball, but she wasn't heartless.

'Fine, I'm sorry.' Cloud sighed, reaching out for the cup of coffee sat next to the scrambled eggs. Tifa crossed her arms, her frown deepening as she watched her friend once again brush off another scolding that she was getting tired of giving.

'When are you gonna get yourself together, Cloud?' She sighed eventually when her friend refused to look at her. 'It's been six months since Zack and I-'

'If you're done with your daily lecture, I'd like to get on with being a waste of space, thanks Tifa.' Cloud interrupted her; his tone leaving no doubt that this conversation was well and truly done with. Tifa glared at him, her jaw working silently as she balled her fist up.

'I'd say you've got that down to a fine art; maybe you ought to give it a rest before you turn into an expert.' She bit back, reaching forward to snatch the tray of food back, slamming the door behind her as she left.

_Joke's on you, I wasn't hungry anyway._ Cloud thought as he reached forward to pick up a half-finished bottle of scotch and poured some into his coffee. He sank back into his couch, balancing the cup on his empty and violently protesting stomach and proceeded to obliterate the gnawing guilt that drilled away in the back of his mind.

* * *

Cloud stumbled backwards, the force of the blow knocking him off his drunken feet and sent him crashing to the ground. As his ass hit the straw covered floor and rattled his brain, his eyes swam in and out of intermittent blackness. He shook his head, hoping to clear the bright white and orange stars that had exploded all over his blurry vision. He curled his fists and bit down heavily on his jaw, collecting the blood that had pooled in his mouth before spitting it out onto the floor. He leaned onto his side and wobbled a fraction as he pulled his feet under him only to have them knocked away by his opponent. He crashed to the ground again, his breath leaving him in a gasp as a boot came down and connected with his stomach, forcing the blond fighter into a curl.

'That's match, kid.' He heard the referee yell over the bawling of the crowd. A hand was placed on his shoulder and a steady arm was placed under him as he was helped to his feet. Cloud shook his head and coughed, spitting out more blood as he tried to orientate himself now that he was no longer parallel with the ground. He looked to his left and saw Cid holding him up, the stench of his cigar wafting over the mixed scents of alcohol and sweat.

They staggered forwards and out of the makeshift ring that occupied the basement of Seventh Heaven, Cloud clumsily bumping shoulders with the men that swiftly reformed the tight circle as they placed their bets on the next two fighters.

Cloud wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol or the punch to the head, but he was finding it hard to keep his feet and he leaned heavily on the old man as they made their way through the crowd to their usual table.

'I coulda had him, Cid.' Cloud mumbled, placing his aching head into his hand as he slumped forward on his stool.

'Yeah, sure thing, kid; you had him on the ropes.' Cid replied cynically as he signalled for the young girl moving through the crowd to come over. 'Two more.' He demanded, lifting his empty glass and put it down on her tray. 'Either way, I think you'd better give it a rest for tonight; before you do any more damage to yourself – or my wallet.'

'Just one mo-'

'You're drunk, Cloud.' Cid interrupted, chewing aggressively on the end of his smoke.

'Not drunk enough.' Cloud replied, leaning back against the wall and let his swimming gaze settle as he watched the crowd. As he picked out individual faces, recognising some and dismissing others, he caught sight of a figure stood beside a supporting beam, his shoulders hunched and his hands stuffed into his pockets. The figure's face was concealed by a hood, but as he turned, Cloud recognised errant choppy bangs and porcelain smooth skin. As he sat up straighter, a bolt of… _something_ shot down his spine and his head began to swim for a wholly different reason.

Squall's eyes locked with Cloud's and after a few fractured seconds both men broke the surprise discovery and moved toward each other.

Cloud reached out first, his hand gripping Squall tightly round his arm and tugged him to the side, through the press of bodies until they were secreted away in a darkened corner. The blond man turned and wobbled, hating the fact that Squall reached out to steady him under his elbows, effectively undermining any authority that the older man might have had.

'What the hell are you doing here?' He yelled, only just about making himself heard over the crowd and the sounds of another fight staring up.

'I wanted to see you.' Squall answered, refusing to look guilty but not managing very well.

'Don't be so fucking stupid, Squall. Are you serious?' Cloud hissed, drunkenly missing the way his words caused the young man's brows to furrow. 'How did you get in here? How… how'd you even get out of Radiant Gardens?'

'I've had someone watching me at some point, in some way, my whole life; if you think I haven't learnt how to give my bodyguards the slip, then you're stupider than you look.' Squall replied, yanking his arm out of Cloud's vice like grip.

'You're not supposed to be here, Squall. Are you fucking insane?' Cloud asked, casting his gaze about, his heart rate suddenly going through the roof when he thought of the implications of the young man's actions. He was supposed to be suspended. If he was caught with the senator's son in his current condition there was no question in his mind that he could kiss goodbye to any chance of getting his job back. And he really, really wanted his job back.

'It's alright Cloud, no one knows I'm here and I'll be back before anyone realises I'm gone. I just wanted to see you is all.

'That's not the point.' Cloud replied, a wave of dizziness making him sway violently on his feet. Squall reached out and caught him, the weight of the older man making him stagger backwards slightly as he helped Cloud right himself. The colour of Cloud's face had drained to a sickly ash grey, the dark claret coloured blood from the cut above his left eye was a startling contrast.

'Are you alright, Cloud?' Squall asked, concern clear in his voice. All Cloud could concentrate on was the nauseating swaying of the room, Squall's hands that were still planted firmly on his bare arms and the young man's breath as it ghosted his face, only mere inches away.

'I just… I just need to sit down.' The blond replied.

'We can go back to your table.' Squall offered, trying to see through the mass of bodies to where the old man had been sitting next to Cloud.

'No, not here. Someone might see us… you.' Cloud shot back correcting himself, displeasure clear in his bright blue eyes. 'My apartment is upstairs.' He turned then, noticing how Squall's hands moved from his arms to help support him as they pushed their way through the press of bodies and up into the bar. Without stopping, he half stumbled, half dragged the younger man up the creaking wooden stairs, stopping briefly to lift up the mat and fish the keys out from under it. Letting them into the apartment, Cloud had a sudden wish to tidy. There were clothes strewn about the couch and floor, old take out containers littered surfaces and the place reeked of stale cigarette smoke.

'Nice place.' Squall commented sarcastically, pushing a crumpled up pair of trousers off a stool and sat Cloud on it.

'You're not even supposed to be here, so watch your mouth.' Cloud replied, leaning heavily on the counter. 'Which reminds me, where's my phone? I need to ring HQ and tell them where you are.'

'No, Cloud. Please don't. I promise everything's fine, no one knows where I am and I'd like to keep it that way. As soon as Tsung and the rest of those fucking Nazis find out how I can disappear, I'll never be able to again. Please!' Squall begged, reaching out to straighten the older man in front of him, who had slipped drunkenly to the side.

Cloud sighed heavily, pressing his palm to his thumping head and the cut that was still oozing thick blood slightly.

'What, exactly, were you expecting my reaction to be?' He asked, the sound of his own voice in his ears incredibly uncomfortable.

'I hoped you'd be pleased to see me.' Squall answered rather indignantly.

Cloud opened his eyes and looked at the young man in front of him as levelly as he could. Despite the sway of his vision, he could see genuine hurt on Squall's face, and underneath it, just the barest hint of quiet desperation. Squall had missed him. The idea was foreign and hilarious to Cloud. He let out his discomfort with a soft sigh.

'Of course I am.' He replied, a little unsure if the response was entirely appropriate. A few awkward seconds passed before Squall cleared his throat.

'You should get that looked at.' He said, gesturing to Cloud's cut eyebrow.

'It's fine, 't's nothing.' Cloud touched his eyebrow again, pulling his fingers away to inspect the congealed spots of blood on his fingers and then wiped them on his grubby wifebeater. Squall tutted, disappearing around the counter to rummage through the clutter on the sides. He pulled out a kitchen towel and ran a corner of it under the faucet before bringing it back to Cloud and placed his fingers under the older man's chin.

'Here, let me.' He pressed the towel to the contusion, unfazed as the blond flinched away slightly before relenting, letting Squall dab at the cut carefully. 'You really need to be more careful out there.' He finally said after he was satisfied the wound had stopped bleeding.

'I was doing fine; I coulda had him.' Cloud replied sullenly.

'That's not how it looked from where I was standing.' Squall snorted.

Cloud looked at him from under furrowed, annoyed brows but the longer he held the young man's gaze the less his irritation seemed to matter. He let it fizzle away to nothing, burned away on the last tides of adrenaline and exhaustion as he sat there and considered the man in front of him. Squall had taken a big risk to come and see him tonight. There must have been a good reason behind it.

'You'll probably have a scar.' Squall broke the silence as he gestured towards Cloud's eyebrow, clearly uncomfortable with the older man's scrutiny of him. 'It might need stitches. You should probab-'

'I don't need stitches, Squall. Just tell me why you're really here.' Cloud interrupted.

'I told you, I wanted to see you.' Squall repeated himself, the line of his body tightening slightly in embarrassment. A light flush rose on his cheeks that stood out on pale skin and it turned Cloud's confusion into mild surprise.

'I was worried that… well, when you… I mean…' Squall huffed an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through his messy hair. 'I wanted to make sure you were okay, you know, after Balamb. You seemed like you took it pretty hard.'

Cloud's confused brows shot up into his hairline, whatever had been left of his annoyance and irritation evaporating as he listened to Squall. The kid had lost his dog – his only friend in the whole fucking world – and he was stood in front of Cloud asking him if _he_ was okay. If anything, it should have been the other way around, but here he was, stood in Cloud's apartment with that concerned fucking look on his face and Cloud had no idea how to handle it.

'I…I'm fine.' The blond stuttered, bewildered.

'Are you sure? You don't look it, Cloud.' Squall replied, letting his eyes wonder the messy apartment, pointedly raking over the very physical manifestation of Cloud's fractured psyche. 'I know I don't know you very well, but… you kinda seem like the sort of person that might take something like that to heart.' Squall added, reaching out to thumb a bruise along Cloud's jaw.

The contact sent a small shiver down Cloud's spine and for a fraction of a second he leaned into it before catching himself. He reached up and took Squall's hand in his own, pulling it away from his face.

'I'm fine, Squall. It's not your job to worry about me.'

'Worrying about someone shouldn't be a "job"' Squall replied.

'With you it usually is.' Cloud countered, hating the way his words made Squall's face darken. He hadn't meant to make the young man feel like a hassle – an assignment or mission to be completed – but their conversation was getting a little too close to the bone for his liking.

'You know, I was wrong about you.' Squall spoke up after a few tense moments. 'Back when we first met and you brought me here after school. It wasn't a woman that left you was it?' Squall asked but in no need of an answer. 'It was your friend, Zack.' If it was a war of feelings Cloud wanted, then Squall had come well armed. 'What happened to him? Did he die or something?'

The speed at which Cloud moved belied his drunken state. He leaped off the stool, grabbing Squall around the arms and shoved him until the young man's back had hit the wall beside the front door.

'All right, that's enough!' Cloud snarled, his anger snapping just under the surface. 'You've got no right coming here asking questions about shit you know nothing about!' He barked into Squall's surprised face. In an instant Cloud caught himself, recognising the startled expression in Squall's eyes and he registered the young man's hands planted firmly on his chest to brace him – to stop him. He noticed the accelerated breathing and flared nostrils and he caught that wild almost panicked look that he had never seen on Squall's face before. He had frightened him. Squall was afraid – of him – and like a switch that opened a flood gate, his anger turned to shame. He loosened his grip on Squall's arms, his sharp features softening fraction by fraction as he stood back slightly, the young man's hands slipping from his chest as Squall stood a little straighter against the wall.

The brunet watched him with wide eyes, his mouth open as he panted slightly and he fidgeted nervously with the hem of his hoodie, straightening his rumpled clothes. He watched as Cloud staggered, his back connecting with the kitchen counter and a strange almost translucent expression fell over his face.

'I… 'm sorry.' Cloud mumbled, bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear the remnants of his sudden anger and when he opened them again, Squall had moved. He was stood directly in front of him, that ripple of fear that had passed over his face as he'd been shoved up against the wall was now gone, replaced with an open concern.

'He did… didn't he?' Squall said, the words more of a statement than a question.

A tired, almost pleading look come over Cloud's face as he stared back at Squall. He softly nodded his head, giving his first honest, non-evasive answer to the brunet, who only smiled sadly back at him.

'I know what that feels like.' Squall admitted, his expression a mixture of pain and embarrassment.

Once again, Cloud's feelings turned in his tight chest as he thought of Squall sat hunched over the body of Griever; his shoulders shaking as he'd buried his face into her neck. Cloud had to admit, there was a big difference between a man losing his childhood friend and a man losing his dog, yet the sentiment remained the same and he was overcome with affection as he realised Squall was trying to empathise with him. Yet the darkness that surrounded Zack's death was far too potent to be alleviated by the efforts of some kid, no matter how sincere and adorable they were, and no matter how badly he tried, Cloud couldn't hold on to the brief reprieve Squall had given him.

'Zack's death…' Cloud stuttered, his voice cracking as he realised he was talking without thinking. 'It… it was my fault.'

Squall cocked his head, a confused expression falling over his features and for a tiny, ridiculous moment, he reminded Cloud of that stupid dog.

'How?' The brunet asked.

Cloud shook his head, unwilling to divulge any more information. He had let enough slip tonight. He had promised himself that he would try and forget it all and he'd hoped with every fibre of his being that he'd never have to relive another memory.

'It doesn't matter, it just was.' He replied, his voice flat and distant.

'I don't believe that.' Squall said, his own tone sure yet gentle. Cloud looked at him, that intense almost calculating expression on his face that had made Squall feel so vulnerable so many times and even now, made a small ripple pass down the young man's spine. He still had no idea whether he enjoyed it or if he wanted the blond to stop and never look at him like that again.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Cloud asked.

Squall shrugged, trying to throw off the confusing feelings the blond's eyes were stirring in him. 'Just that… well… I don't know. You seem like the kind of person that might blame himself for something that wasn't your fault. I… I know I don't know you very well and I don't really know what happened with your friend but… well… I just… get a feeling about you.' He replied awkwardly.

'You can't possibly know that, Squall.'

The way that Cloud said his name, his tone reproachful yet tender as it passed over the syllables made Squall's heartbeat quicken. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he had never wanted to reach out and comfort another person as badly as he did right then. He had never wanted to feel connected to anybody as desperately as he wanted to know what was happening inside Cloud's head. He wanted to understand. He wanted to be the only person in Cloud's life that understood him.

'I know.' He replied honestly. 'But I still think I'm right.'

A scared and vulnerable look passed over Cloud's face as he realised that Squall was a lot closer to the uncomfortable truth than anyone had ever come. There were a lot of things about Zack's death that he hadn't shared with anyone, his own guilt and self-hatred were chief among them, yet this young man had singled them out in just a few short weeks. There had been no one – not even Tifa or Aerith – that had come so close to cracking him open.

His thoughts lost in his own inner turmoil, Cloud failed to notice Squall step into his personal space, and by the time the younger man's mouth was pressed to his own it was already far too late. He jolted in shock, his nose bumping clumsily with Squall's as he'd meant to bring his hands up to push the brunet away. Instead, for some unknown reason he placed a hand against a warm cheek, his eyes sliding closed as he tentatively kissed back. Maybe it was the alcohol, may be it was the punch to the head. Maybe it was none of those things. All Cloud could think of at that precise moment in time was how warm he felt.

With one last press of lips, Squall pulled away, leaving a dazed and swaying Cloud propped up against the counter.

'You're a good person, Cloud.' He told the blond, who looked at him with eyes that burned with confusion and want. 'I wouldn't like you so much if you weren't.'

Cloud couldn't have responded even if he'd _had_ something intelligible to say. He only stared dumbly back at the younger man, his eyes flicking between those shining grey eyes and his warm lips and all he could think about was how he wanted to kiss him again.

'I have to go.' Squall broke the silence, stepping back and out of Cloud's reach. There was a moment of hesitation, where Cloud thought the young brunet was warring with himself, undecided about whether he should go or stay and continue what they had started, before Squall sighed softly and smiled gently. 'You should get some sleep; you look like you need it.'

Pulling his hood back up to obscure his face, Squall turned and let himself out of the apartment, leaving Cloud to wonder to bed with a head full of questions.

* * *

Despite the late hour and the excessive amount of alcohol, Cloud couldn't sleep. He lay awake for long hours staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, gently running the tips of his fingers over his lips where Squall had kissed him. Every time he attempted to close his eyes it evoked the feel of the young man's cheek under his hand, and even though he couldn't remember registering it at the time, he could now recall a light and pleasant smell of soap and sandalwood.

As thrilling and pleasurable as the kiss had been, and as much as it had been unexpected, there was an undercurrent of guilt running through Cloud that the blond man couldn't put his finger on. It left him feeling uneasy, as if he stood on shifting ground that could collapse beneath him at any moment.

His guilt and his failure to protect Squall at Fisherman's Horizon were still as pungent as they had been two weeks ago, yet he couldn't help but be strangely effected by the young man's last words. If anything, his actions should have proven to Squall that he was anything but a good man. He didn't even need the added fact of Zack's death to prove that point, yet Cloud didn't think that Squall had said those things just to humour him.

As confusing as all of that was, there was also the added complication of Squall's age. When Cloud thought about it – really thought about it – he realised that there wasn't much about Squall that acted seventeen. He was mature and thoughtful, intelligent and level headed and Cloud began to realise that he'd stopped seeing the brunet as a 'kid' a while ago, and although the thought left him uneasy, it wasn't what was inflaming his own guilt. It had something to do with _himself_.

Fed up with fighting the inevitable, Cloud swung his legs out of bed and stood up, feeling the beginnings of sobriety come crashing down on him in painful jagged waves. He half limped/half staggered into his pit of a living room and looked about, feeling that shame and humiliation that had become such a huge part of his life.

Squall had said he was a good man. Cloud didn't know whether he believed it or not, but looking around his shithole of an apartment it was hard to believe that _anyone_ could think that of him. Idly he picked up a black bin bag and began to tidy up, the full scale of his mission becoming clear to him the more he moved about the room.

As he tided, he found it harder and harder to believe in what Squall had said. Placing bottle after bottle of empty whisky and vodka into the bin liner, he began to comprehend the enormity of how far he had fallen. He was a waste of space and a terrible friend. He'd deserved his suspension and more than that, he deserved Squall's contempt, yet he hadn't received it. Instead, he'd been kissed, and right there he came upon the source of his guilt.

Clearing away the last of the clutter from his coffee table, he picked up a bottle of half-finished scotch, its amber liquid sloshing invitingly against the clear glass. He titled the thing back and forth, feeling his warring emotions sway in the same way until, eventually, with Squall's last words replaying themselves in his aching head and the image of his affectionate smile, Cloud walked over to the kitchen and unstopped the bottle. With a determined frown and a clenched jaw he poured the contents down the sink.

Watching as the last of the tawny trails slid away, Cloud let out a small huff, his shoulders dropping. He felt no better physically: his head still pounded and his body felt like it was being held together with nothing more than spit and sawdust, yet he felt a lightness that he hadn't experienced in a long, long time.

He may not have been a very good man – his numerous failings could attest to that – but, he realised, he _wanted_ to be.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Okay, so after a very hectic run of night shifts, I finally have time for my bebehs! I swear this story is getting more and more convoluted and juicy the longer I work on it! Anyways, thank you so much for your fantastic response to my last update; you guys blow me away.

Enough chitchat. On with the story. XD

* * *

'_It's stupid… For a moment I almost forgot she was dead.'_

**Chapter Seven**

The shrill ring of the phone would have awoken Cloud, had he been asleep. However, the blond had been staring at the ceiling of his bedroom for the last five hours and he was no closer to the welcome oblivion of unconsciousness he was accustomed to at this hour. Although alcohol had played a major part in the ruin of Cloud's life as of late, the blond man couldn't deny its effectiveness at knocking him the hell out when all he wanted to do was run from the terrible voices in his head. As it was, he was stone cold sober and exhausted.

Flipping his phone open, he pressed receive and put the cell to his ear.

'Hello?' He answered, his voice a little groggy.

'Cloud, this is Tsung.' Cloud sat up abruptly, the movement making his head dizzy; the sheets pooling around his waist. 'I've been asked to invite you to HQ for your evaluation and to discuss your suspension. Please be here for 10:30. I'll meet you at the gates.' Cloud nodded his head, before remembering that he was on the phone and cleared his throat.

'Yes sir. I'll be there.'

As the phone clicked off, Cloud threw back the covers and leaped out of bed. He began rummaging through his wardrobe, searching for his suit, his exhaustion forgotten in his panic. When he couldn't find a single piece of appropriate clothing he ran out into the hall, shouting down the flight of stairs.

'Tifa!' After a few moments of silence he shouted again. 'TIFA!'

With an annoyed frown and hands on hips, Tifa came to stand at the bottom of the stairs.

'WHAT?' She shouted back up.

'Tifa, HQ called, they want to see me this morning and I can't find my suit.' Cloud explained, fully aware that he was stood in his hallway in nothing but his shorts.

'You wanted it dry cleaned so I took it down town.' Tifa replied, trying her best to avoid getting an eyeful up Cloud's underwear.

'Shit.' Cloud exclaimed, looking at his watch. Judging enough time to get back from town and get ready, he sprinted back into his apartment, slamming the door behind him on a confused and bewildered Tifa.

* * *

It had been a rush to get to Radiant Gardens, but the blond had made it with only a few minutes to spare. Straightening his tie and checking his collar in the rear view mirror, Cloud breathed out a steadying breath.

'You can do this.' He told himself, his eyes hard and determined.

Tsung met him, as promised at the doors, his level and unreadable stare unnerving the blond as he followed him to the same room he'd been suspended in. Was that a good sign or a bad one? Cloud thought to himself as he was led through, the door shutting behind him.

Once again, Xemnas and Edea were sat where they had been the last time Cloud had been in the room, Tsung taking up his position on the right. Xemnas held out a hand, offering Cloud to sit.

With his hands folded neatly across the table in front of him, Cloud tucked his legs under the chair and waited.

'Welcome back, Mr Strife. I take it you've used this time to consider heavily the implications of your actions?' The woman Edea said.

Flashes of the first two weeks of his suspension crossed Cloud's inner eye: his drunkenness and total obliteration of his brain cells, and decided that it was probably in his best interest not to mention them.

'I have, yeah.' He replied, thinking of the night that Squall had turned up. It hadn't exactly been part of his plan, but that night had turned something around in Cloud's head. He decided that it would probably be a good idea if he neglected to mention that as well. 'I've been thinking a lot, and… I just wanted to take this opportunity to say how sorry I am that I let that happen. My head's been kind of a mess since… well since coming back from Wutai. But this job really means a lot to me and I'm just so sorry I lost sight of that.'

Edea's face remained impassive and Cloud was unable to tell whether he had made an impression on her at all.

'We appreciate your situation, Cloud. It can't have been easy returning to civilian life under your circumstances. However, we must impress the seriousness of your actions on you. Had the events of Balamb turned out differently, you would have been looking at instant dismissal, without a shadow of a doubt.' Xemnas told him, flipping through a few pages of the report that sat in front of him. 'As it is, no harm came to Mr Leonhart whilst under your protection. We also have no further evidence to suggest that you are unfit to carry on in your post at this time. We also have a request from Mr Leonhart himself, stating that he would like your return to work; effective immediately. It seems that, despite your actions, you have his trust.'

Cloud's heart had ceased to pound wildly behind his ribcage, the organ missing a few beats entirely at the mention of Squall.

'Th… thank you, sir.' He replied, clumsily.

'It is not me you need to be thanking, Cloud.' Xemnas said, an eyebrow raised. 'However, you may return to collect your things. I expect you back on site by eighteen hundred hours this evening. You will resume your position and protection of Mr Leonhart.' Closing the file he folded his hands over it, lacing the fingers together and leaned forwards on his elbows, his face once again a serious and pointed mask.

'I feel that I scarcely need to remind you that you are on very dangerous ground here, Cloud. One more incident, one more reason to doubt your professionalism and dedication to this job and I will fire you so quickly it will make your head spin. Do I make myself clear?'

Cloud swallowed thickly and nodded his head. 'Yes sir. I promise, that won't happen.'

'Good, you may leave to collect your things. Tsung will meet you back on site once you are done.'

Cloud stood, unsure if he should extend his hand to shake Xemnas', but a quick look from the terse woman sat to his left made him think otherwise. He mumbled an awkward 'Thank you.' and left as quickly as possible.

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?' Xemnas asked the dark haired woman after a few short moments of silence.

Edea looked up from inspecting her nails, a bored expression on her beautiful features.

'Of course I do.' She replied, her tone sharp.

'I thought the idea was to make Squall as vulnerable as possible, I don't see how giving him a bodygu-'

'Cloud is stupid. He's easily manipulated and worst of all, he's a drunk. What better person to guard something of such importance?' Edea interrupted, flipping her own file closed. She stood, looking down at the two men sat opposite her. 'Cloud will mess up again, of that I have no doubt. If we took away the brat's protection now it would look suspicious when the time came. If he is to have anyone protecting him, I'd rather have a brainless, drunken ex-SOLDIER watching him than someone who actually knows what he's doing. Are we agreed, gentlemen?' She asked, looking each man in turn. Xemnas nodded his head and Tsung only stared back, his face unreadable as always.

'Don't you agree, Tsung?' Edea pressed, unhappy with his response.

'Whatever you feel needs to happen.' The black haired man replied evenly.

'Good, then I suggest you leave the rest to me.'

With one last caustic look at each man, she turned and left the room.

* * *

Despite the fact that it had been mid-morning when Cloud had walked into Radiant Gardens, by the time he had come back from Seventh Heaven, his things in tow, it was nearing dusk and dark storm clouds had gathered.

Tsung was waiting for him in the foyer of the service elevator, his hands folded neatly behind his back as the doors slid open and he greeted him with a curt nod of his head.

'Good to have you back, Strife.' He said evenly, turning without waiting for a reply and walked down the corridor towards the grand entrance. Cloud followed closely, running his hand nervously down his tie to smooth it against his freshly pressed shirt. As they neared the giant sweeping staircase a loud voice broke the silence and echoed around the large vista. Cloud's head snapped towards the sound, his brows furrowing as he recognised the senator's tone carry across the large expanse of marble and stone.

'You're lying to me, again!'

Tsung slowed his pace as they neared the entrance to the library, his approach cautious. Stopping in the doorway he turned his body sideways to allow Cloud to come to a stand next to him, the large, high vaulted ceiling bouncing and amplifying the voice of Ansem. It took Cloud only a few seconds to find the senator stood by the grand piano, his face thunderous and mottled, and his hands balled into fists at his sides as he glared at his adopted son. Squall stood with his back to the doorway, the skewed piano bench knocked out behind him as if he'd stood in a hurry.

'I wouldn't have to if you'd just let me-'

'So you admit it?' Ansem interrupted the brunet, whose shoulders had squared with tension. For a few seconds, Cloud felt uneasy about listening into the obviously private argument. The part of his brain that warned caution and prudence told him it was a bad idea, yet the voyeuristic nature of his job dictated that he stay and watch.

'What difference does it make; you watch every move I make anyway. You already know I snuck out!'

At Squall's words, Cloud froze, his insides turning to ice as he thought back to Squall's unannounced visit to Tifa's bar nearly two weeks ago. For a moment he was fearful their meeting had been discovered, before he rationalised that there would have been no way he'd have been given his job back if Xemnas or Ansem had known about Squall absconding. His brief reprieve, however, was soured with the senator's next words. They caused a fierce, intense swell of anger in the blond, whose own fists involuntary clenched with suppressed rage.

'You're a disobedient little fuck, Squall, and I'm tired of dealing with your pathetic rebellions. You _will_ learn your place.'

In the dense silence that followed a slow ominous peel of summer thunder rumbled out in the growing shadows of the garden and soft patters of rain began to pelt the large windows behind the two men.

'Whatever.' Squall sneered quietly, his tone clearly derisive.

The senator moved with such speed, that even Cloud was startled as a sharp and caustic slap sounded and then echoed in the vast room. He watched Squall stumbled backwards, his legs catching on the forgotten stool behind him as he tumbled to the ground landing hard on his side, his legs still caught up in the upturned bench.

The first Cloud realised he'd even moved was a hand placed firmly around his arm, strong and firm, holding him back. He turned with a surprised and furious scowl to see Tsung staring back at him, a warning in his eyes. Before Cloud could yank his arm free, the sound of the senator kicking the stool away stole Cloud's attention and he turned back in time to see the older man grab the brunet by the collar of his shirt and yank him from his prone position. With wide eyes, Cloud watched Ansem bring his hand back, the motion almost slowing to a dream's speed as it came crashing back down across Squall's face. The momentum pulled the young man from Ansem's grasp and sent the brunet sprawling across the floor, a small but audible cry of pain slipping from his lips.

The hand around Cloud's bicep tightened, a short sharp tug restraining him as he pulled against it. With some effort, Tsung managed to yank him back and over the threshold, rounding him up against the doorframe and out of earshot of the senator.

'Cloud, it's not our place to get involved.' The black haired man hissed under his breath.

'Fuck that. You told me my main objective was to protect him.' Cloud bit back, knocking Tsung's restraining hands away from his shoulders.

'He's Ansem's son, he can discipline him however he wants.' Tsung replied hurriedly, stepping in between the seething blond and the open doorway. The obscene statement froze the blond, his own disbelief finally catching up with him as he realised that this had happened before. This violence was nothing new to these people; they had been standing by, watching it happen for years.

'You are here to protect Squall from the outside world. What happens inside these walls is none of our concern.' Tsung continued, taking advantage of Cloud's momentary shock.

With a final shove of anger and disbelief, Cloud threw Tsung's hand off his arm, his seething gaze fixed pointedly on the taller man as he drilled his displeasure and contempt into the exchange. He righted himself, straightening his suit before calmly stepping around the black haired man. Walking back into the library, he was just in time to see the young brunet stumble out of the north entry and head for the large glass conservatory behind the kitchens and beyond, out into the gardens and the now pouring rain.

Without thinking, without another glance at the senator, Cloud sprinted across the expanse of the library floor and followed Squall, charging through the kitchens and out into the storm.

Cloud tried to peer through the pelting rain that had become a fierce torrent, the warm summer downpour stinging his skin as a flash of lightning lit the sky and illuminated a feeling shadow moving quickly towards the small coppice of trees at the bottom of the large lawns. Cloud gave chase, sprinting quickly, his feet slipping on the sodden grass. As he neared the stand of trees he called out, Squall's name becoming lost in the peel of another clap of thunder.

The blond came to a stop under a large oak, his knee twinging slightly from the sudden chase. The rain softened under the trees large branches as he cast his gaze about, looking for any sign of the brunet and underneath the grumble of the receding thunder, Cloud heard the distinct sound of barking. Through the small stand of trees, slightly north west of the main house were the kennels and like a lightning rod, Cloud was struck with where Squall had run to.

Taking off again, Cloud broke free of the line of trees, skirting the large lake that sat behind them and followed the shore line until the first link fence came into view. He called out again, this time his voice carrying through the rain as he skimmed the perimeter and searched for the doorway that had been left open, its metal links banging against the side of the fence in the slight breeze.

There were only five kennels in the small complex and looking up and down the row of cages, it wasn't hard for Cloud to spot a shadowy figure, obscured by rain and metal fences a few paces to Cloud's left. Ignoring the excited barks of the dogs as they came out of their small shelters, Cloud reached the young man, stood in the middle of a single empty kennel, his back to the open door as if he had rushed in and forgotten why he was there.

The rain continued to pour, collecting in little puddles on the concrete around Squall's feet as he stood there, shoulders stiff and rising up and down rapidly with his laboured breathing. Cloud called the brunet's name again, pushing open the swinging door and stepped into the empty kennel.

Squall didn't respond. His back was ridged, his white shirt plastered to his soaking body and Cloud could see the effort it took to control his breathing as the muscles in his back rippled and flexed.

'Squall?' He called again, his tone soft and concerned. Another flash of lighting and a grumble of thunder passed by overhead, the sound growing fainter as it crackled away into the distance and Cloud could see Squall had turned his head slightly, his profile just visible over his shoulder. Water dripped from his soaked bangs and from his nose and in the gloom of the swiftly enclosing night, Cloud could see an angry welt imprinted into Squall's pale cheek. The corner of his mouth was red and inflamed and a thin, diluted trail of blood came from the brunet's nose, almost washed away by the rain.

Stepping close enough to reach out, Cloud grasped Squall's arm lightly, turning him around until they were face to face, Squall's eyes downcast as he tried to work past the last of his impotent rage. His jaw worked silently, clenching every now and again as he balled and uncurled his fists and stood uselessly in the middle of the empty cage.

'It's stupid.' He finally said, his voice soft and humourless even as he let out a small laugh. 'For a moment I actually forgot she was dead.'

It took a few seconds before Cloud realised they were stood in Griever's old kennel and that Squall was talking about his lost friend. Unable to think of anything to say to comfort the young man, Cloud reached out and pulled the brunet into a fierce hug, his hand coming up to tuck Squall's head into his neck. After a few hesitant seconds, Cloud felt hands come up and fist themselves into his soaking clothes, the press of Squall's body growing tighter as he held on to the blond, burying his face deeper into the warm and comforting scents of Cloud's hold.

As small shudders rippled their way down Squall's back Cloud held on tighter, his mind racing for something to say. With a flash of remembrance, their conversation at Seventh Heaven the day Cloud had taken him to get a burger came to him and as a dark and guttural emotion swept over him he recalled asking about the scar across Squall's face. He remembered thinking then that the brunet's story hadn't sat right with him, yet he had been unable to pinpoint exactly why. As gently as he could, he untangled himself from the young man. Cupping his hand around the bruised cheek, he wiped gently at the last of the blood on Squall's top lip and let his dark gaze settle on the scar slashed across the bridge of Squall's nose.

'This isn't the first time he's done something like this, is it?' Cloud asked, his voice soft yet edged with something dangerous. Bringing his other hand up to cup the other side of Squall's face, he ran the pad of his thumb over the very end of the scar, right underneath the brunet's left eye. The young man's skin was chilly and moist, the ridges of the mark raised slightly against the otherwise flawless texture of his face.

Squall stared back at Cloud, his grey eyes large and sad and with a small, almost imperceptible shake of his head he replied, no.

'He caught me in his study; I was looking for something.' The brunet mumbled, his brows furrowing in remembrance. 'He picked up a letter opener and just…' Squall's words trailed away, the end of his story all too obvious, the evidence right there, branded into his skin for the rest of his life.

When it became clear that Squall would reveal no more, the trauma of the event bright in his translucent silvery eyes, Cloud reached forwards and placed his lips against the scar, right between the brunet's brows. He allowed his kiss to linger, savouring the way that Squall's hands came up to brace himself against Cloud's arms, his fingers twisting in the material of his soaked suit jacket and with a subtle turn of his head, the brunet tilted back, sliding Cloud's lips along his skin until he found his mouth.

The kiss was slower and surer than the one Squall had given Cloud in his apartment. The slight press of lips became harder and more urgent, a need poured into the contact as Cloud pulled their bodies as close as was possible, his hands slipping upwards to tangle in Squall's wet hair. The brunet's own hands slid up from Cloud's strong arms to touch his face, his fingertips brushing raindrops from smooth, creamy skin and he kissed back, just as forcefully.

When breathing became urgent, Cloud pulled away slightly, his nose bumping Squall's as he rested his forehead against the younger man's, his hands still tangled in soaking hair, playing with the strands at the nape of his neck. He pressed a few more kisses to softly panting lips, enjoying the way the rain made Squall taste, before the subtle shivers and tremors became too violent to ignore and the darkness that had swallowed up the world around them became too deep to see anything but the vaguest outline of their faces.

'Let's get you inside.' Cloud mumbled gruffly, his voice thick with things left unsaid. He still had no idea what it was that was developing between them, and there were things hidden in the young man's past that were only partially coming to light, but Cloud knew better than to push the subject tonight. Squall's humiliation at being struck was still too fresh and all Cloud really wanted to do was comfort him; his questions could wait for later.

The blond bodyguard walked the young man back to the house, Squall's slighter body tucked into Cloud's broader one. His jacket, although wet, was slung over the brunet's shoulders, holding off most of the chill until they reached the large pool of light cast out around the mansion.

They emerged from the darkness one after the other, Cloud slightly behind Squall as the young man disappeared into the kitchens, the warm glow of the overhead lights throwing into sharp relief how terrible he looked.

Squall turned to Cloud as the blond closed the door behind him, his face once again a blank and emotionless slate as his eyes skimmed upwards to catch the security camera over the entryway.

'I'd better go take a shower.' He said, a small flicker of affection glinting in his eyes as he looked at Cloud.

With a brief touch of his thumb to Squall's bruised lip, Cloud nodded and watched the young man walk away into the mansion.

* * *

He was just about to turn his light off and climb into bed when Cloud heard a knock at his bedroom door. Sighing deeply, he wishing not for the first time that he had a drink to help him combat the perils of night time and the endless hours of staring at his ceiling; he padded across his small quarters and pulled the door open.

Squall stood on the other side, an embarrassed and diffident smile curling the very edges of his mouth and a slightly damp suit jacket in his hand.

'I came to give you this back.' He said, holding the proffered article up for Cloud to take. 'Sorry it's still wet.'

'Thanks.' Cloud replied slightly bewildered to see the brunet outside his quarters so late at night. He took the jacket, tossing it onto the back of a chair and turned back to his night time visitor.

'I forgot to say, it's good to see you back. You look better.' Squall commented, his gentle smile undermined by the angry welt on his face.

Cloud's thought's darkened momentarily before he realised that he'd let the silence stretch on for too long.

'Thanks, I hear you had something to do with that.'

'I have my uses.' Squall blushed slightly, looking down at his bare feet as his toes curled into the plush carpet. Cloud thought the gesture cute, his own chest fluttering at the sight, before he coughed uncomfortably.

'So… h… how are you?' The blond asked, fumbling for a coherent thought.

'I'm okay.' Squall replied, absently touching the side of his mouth and shrugging. 'I've had worse.'

The comment made Cloud frown, his dark thoughts skimming over all of the possible things that could have been worse.

'Does he do that often?' The blond asked, nodding his head, gesturing towards Squall's slightly swollen lip and wondered how many times it had happened without him knowing.

'Only when I give him reason to.' Squall tried to joke, his hollow chuckle falling on a humourless frown as Cloud stared back at him.

'What was the reason this time?' Cloud asked, recalling the argument. Squall blew out a long breath, his features suddenly becoming tired as he ran a hand through his newly washed hair; odd strands sticking up in uneven directions.

'It's a long story.' He answered, looking down the corridor.

Cloud thought of the long and sleepless night ahead of him and feared the dreams he would have if he closed his eyes anyway, before he opened his door wider and gestured for Squall to come inside.

'I have time.'

Squall hesitated, looking off down the corridor again before weighing up his options. Finally, with a small glance at Cloud, he nodded his head. 'Alright then.'

With the door closed behind them, Squall looked about himself at the cramped bedroom and wondered on the best place to sit. Opting for the corner of the bed, he perched himself on it and watched at Cloud seated himself on the opposite end, near the headboard, his legs stretched out so that his feet almost touched Squall's hip.

'So where'd you sneak off to this time?' Cloud asked, one blond eyebrow raised in mock disapproval. He recalled his own irritation at finding the brunet in Seventh Heaven, his worry over his safety bringing palpitations to his chest even as he thought about it. It wasn't like the kid had recently been shot at or anything.

The silence that followed was so long, Cloud wondered if Squall was going to answer him, before the brunet pulled in a long breath, straightened his shoulders and lifted his quiet, considering gaze to meet Cloud's.

'I went to meet my father.'

The brunet's words caused such confusion in Cloud that it took him a while to answer. He levelled his eyes at the young man, his mind flying through all of the possible explanations before settling on the only and obvious answer.

'Your father? You mean… your real father?' Cloud asked slowly and carefully. He straightened himself up, sitting forwards and rested his elbow on a raised knee.

Squall gave a small, shallow nod, averting his eyes to watch his nervous fingers play with each other.

'I… I don't understand.' Cloud finally confessed, feeling like he was missing something.

'I lied to you, back at Seventh Heaven that day when you asked me about my parents. I've known where my father is for months… I… I've been searching for him for years.' Squall stopped, raising a hand to absently trace the scar across his nose. 'A journalist friend of his finally got in touch with me a few weeks back with his address and I… I've been working up the courage to go see him.'

'So wait… your father isn't missing in action? He's not dead?' Cloud asked still feeling like he was missing a rather large piece of the puzzle. Squall shook his head.

'When I was younger, people told me that's what had happened; that both of my parents were dead and that there was nothing I'd ever be able to find out about them. I don't know… I guess I just didn't want to believe them. I started looking for anything I could find. I thought if anyone would know it would be Ansem. It's how I got this.' Squall said with a wry smile as he pointed to his scar. He let his words sink in for a few moments before continuing. 'It was worth it though, I found what I was looking for: a cease and desist order from a federal judge ordering a Laguna Loire to stop all attempted contact with me. It was dated from years ago but it was proof that he was alive. It was all I needed. When Ansem caught me in his study I tried to beg him to let me see him. I wanted to know… I just… It's not like I wanted to go live with him or anything, I just wanted to talk to him, ask him questions about where I came from… about my mother…'

Cloud slid further along the bed and reached out to place a comforting hand on the brunet's shoulder. He squeezed lightly, brushing away a few errant bangs that obscured the young man's profile.

'After that, I tried for years to find a way of reaching him, but I could never manage it until a few months ago. A journalist caught up with me at school. I have no idea how he got in but he gave me an address; said he was an old friend of my fathers and that they'd served together in the army.'

'How did you know you could trust him?' Cloud asked, feeling his anxiety rise just thinking about it.

'I didn't, I guess. I don't know… I just…I had to give it a try.' Squall replied, looking up at Cloud from under dark lashes. The sight made Cloud's mouth go dry and forget about any concerns of safety.

'So… you went to see him? What was he like?' Cloud asked, shifting a little closer, one leg hooked around the back of the brunet, the other panted on the floor, his knee bumping Squall's.

'I don't know. I never made it into the apartment. I stood on the street for two hours, too afraid to go in.' Squall replied with a bitter laugh. 'Stupid huh?'

'Why? You'd spent all that time looking for him.' Cloud asked, confusion written all over his face.

'Exactly!' Squall replied, his voice wavering ever so slightly. 'What if… What if he's not what I want him to be? What if, after all this time, he's just some guy who's only interested in me because of my connection to Ansem? Or even worse, what if he's not even interested at all? And then… What if he is? What if he's everything I've been hoping for?'

Cloud pulled Squall into a hug, bringing the young man against his chest as he pressed a soft kiss into his hair.

'I don't think he's only interested in you because of Ansem. You said you found a restraining order from years ago, that means he knew about you from way back. He even sent a friend into your school just to get a message to you, so I think we can rule out your fear of him not being interested. He clearly wants to meet you.'

'Is it weird I'm scared of that too?.' Squall replied in a small voice, rubbing his cheek against the blond's shoulder unconsciously. 'I guess it sounds stupid.'

'I think it's probably normal.' Cloud replied, holding the brunet a little tighter.

They sat like that for some time: the gentle press of Cloud's hand running soothing patterns along Squall's back and the young man's head tucked comfortably under the blond's chin, his fingers playing with a loose thread on Cloud's t-shirt. After long, comfortable minutes, Squall sat up.

'I should probably get going.' He offered, holding Cloud's stare. That uneasy feeling swept over him again as the blond looked at him with eyes that made him feel like he was being taken to pieces. Determined, Squall gazed back.

Eventually, Cloud reached up, taking the brunet's face gently in his hands he leaned forwards and kissed him, laying his lips softly over Squall's.

'Just promise me,' He said, pulling away with a concerned frown. 'The next time you feel like doing a disappearing act, tell me. I've just got this job back, don't get me fired.'

Squall's serious face broke out into an adorable smile and he ducked his head, breaking Cloud's hold.

'I promise.' He replied. 'Though I don't think you'll have to worry on that account, Ansem will make sure of it. I won't be going anywhere for a while.'

Squall stood, giving a light squeeze to Cloud's hand as it fell from his lap and walked to the door. He stopped just as he opened it and turned back to the blond sat on the bed who was watching him with affectionate eyes.

'Thank you.' He said softly.

'What for?' Cloud asked, his brows creasing slightly.

'For listening.' Squall replied, that gentle smile tugging at his lips once again. He closed the door behind him and left Cloud alone, his thoughts turning from the brunet's problems to his own demons that lay waiting for him in the long stretch of the night.


End file.
